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View Full Version : Just so you haven't forgotten...



Uncle Bill
06-07-2009, 10:21 AM
...that we have a 'representative' form of government....it gives me so much pride in knowing what we have representing us in D.C.

UB

A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent shares some questions he was asked:

1. A New Hampshire Congresswoman asked for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. A candidate's staffer, wanted to go to Capetown, S.A. While I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts". Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusettes, Capetown is in South Africa." Her response--click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that was not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"

4. A lawmaker's wife asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a one-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very, very fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I know I'm overweight but I think that's very rude!'' After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it (I was dying laughing), I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT--Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii ?"

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes seem to have numbers on them."

10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She said, ''Yeah, whatever!''

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.'' I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

dakotalabs
06-07-2009, 12:16 PM
God Bless you, Uncle Bill. You always have had a "way with words, especially about our Leadership"

Ed Nelson

dnf777
06-14-2009, 06:11 PM
If we had unlimited web space, we could begin to quote our former president's brilliant lines and add to the party!

"Is our children learnin'?"

dback
06-14-2009, 08:17 PM
If we had unlimited web space, we could begin to quote our former president's brilliant lines and add to the party!

"Is our children learnin'?"

It's been an active couple weeks on here for you. Thought you were stickin' to the dogs???????????

dnf777
06-15-2009, 12:12 PM
It's been an active couple weeks on here for you. Thought you were stickin' to the dogs???????????

Do factual quotes bother you?
And yes, I am stickin' to the dogs. Since I'm not in lock-step with Rush, I don't feel very welcome here. Seems only those who parrot Rush are acceptable. I'm going to work now, so I can help pay down the $5 trillion debt increase our latest brain-child gave us. (That's W, by the way) Funny, around here (Pennsyltucky) the people who gripe the most, pay the fewest taxes...in fact, most are getting MY tax dollars in unemployment!)

later

JDogger
06-15-2009, 01:19 PM
Do factual quotes bother you?
And yes, I am stickin' to the dogs. Since I'm not in lock-step with Rush, I don't feel very welcome here. Seems only those who parrot Rush are acceptable. I'm going to work now, so I can help pay down the $5 trillion debt increase our latest brain-child gave us. (That's W, by the way) Funny, around here (Pennsyltucky) the people who gripe the most, pay the fewest taxes...in fact, most are getting MY tax dollars in unemployment!)

later

Stick around. Thicken your skin. The righties here need jackin' up.

JD

dback
06-15-2009, 11:08 PM
Do factual quotes bother you?
And yes, I am stickin' to the dogs. Since I'm not in lock-step with Rush, I don't feel very welcome here. Seems only those who parrot Rush are acceptable. I'm going to work now, so I can help pay down the $5 trillion debt increase our latest brain-child gave us. (That's W, by the way) Funny, around here (Pennsyltucky) the people who gripe the most, pay the fewest taxes...in fact, most are getting MY tax dollars in unemployment!)

later

What ever your short comings may be, entertainment value isn't one of them. I would equate your relationship with most members on this board in your first (under) 10 days here to my 4 year old grand daughter playing 'Wack-A-Mole' at Peter Piper, (your timing being substandard however)

Do factual quotes bother me? I have no idea what that means but here's a simple 'quote' that you might recognize. "With all due respect to others, those I agree with and those I disagree with alike, I am going to respectfully leave this forum and stick to the Retriever Training room." Hours later you were again on POTUS....10 times to be exact versus once on RTF. Haeeeeell Yes! I find that very amusing.

I find it equally amusing that you expect your elected officials to be beyond reproach in any facet of their lives, especially when history has shown that many of our most influential and important ancestors have had numerous 'human frailties'.

This will be the first time I have ever agreed with dogger...hang around....in these trying times we need amusement.

JDogger
06-15-2009, 11:27 PM
What ever your short comings may be, entertainment value isn't one of them. I would equate your relationship with most members on this board in your first (under) 10 days here to my 4 year old grand daughter playing 'Wack-A-Mole' at Peter Piper, (your timing being substandard however)

Do factual quotes bother me? I have no idea what that means but here's a simple 'quote' that you might recognize. "With all due respect to others, those I agree with and those I disagree with alike, I am going to respectfully leave this forum and stick to the Retriever Training room." Hours later you were again on POTUS....10 times to be exact versus once on RTF. Haeeeeell Yes! I find that very amusing.

I find it equally amusing that you expect your elected officials to be beyond reproach in any facet of their lives, especially when history has shown that many of our most influential and important ancestors have had numerous 'human frailties'.

This will be the first time I have ever agreed with dogger...hang around....in these trying times we need amusement.

Are you not amused dnf777? I'm amused...!

Isn't that what all this is supossed to be about?

Thanks, back...,dogger...,

God...you guys take this so seriously...,

jd

Cody Covey
06-15-2009, 11:41 PM
<3 u JDogger!

JDogger
06-15-2009, 11:52 PM
<3 u JDogger!

Can you elucidate further? I don't speak your ????

JD

Cody Covey
06-16-2009, 01:30 AM
means i love you of course...

dnf777
06-16-2009, 08:32 AM
This juvenile response is so typical.
You're right....I have better things to do, like work and pay taxes. I guess that's not enough to earn the right to express opinions on extreme right-wing forums.

The funny thing is....I'm not a liberal, but since I don't fit your perfect picture of a good little right-winger, and indiscriminantly berate the President of the United States in thoughtless fashion, I'm marginalized and asked not to post here. (except you YOUR entertainment)

Sorry, my time is far too valuable to be your jester, and besides, the REAL humor here went right over your head!

Cody Covey
06-16-2009, 09:26 AM
This juvenile response is so typical.
You're right....I have better things to do, like work and pay taxes. I guess that's not enough to earn the right to express opinions on extreme right-wing forums.

The funny thing is....I'm not a liberal, but since I don't fit your perfect picture of a good little right-winger, and indiscriminantly berate the President of the United States in thoughtless fashion, I'm marginalized and asked not to post here. (except you YOUR entertainment)

Sorry, my time is far too valuable to be your jester, and besides, the REAL humor here went right over your head!

No one is telling you not to post here. YOU keep saying that you are not going to post here anymore yet keep coming back. You are definitely entitled to your right to post however you feel; just stop saying that you are done posting here and are fed up with it. Jeff and JDogger aren't the perfect little right wingers either and no one has told them to go away yet either.

Either go away or stop saying you are going to.

Jason Glavich
06-16-2009, 09:31 AM
If we had unlimited web space, we could begin to quote our former president's brilliant lines and add to the party!

"Is our children learnin'?"

Or our current president....
I have visited 57 states....

dback
06-16-2009, 10:16 AM
This juvenile response is so typical.
You're right....I have better things to do, like work and pay taxes. I guess that's not enough to earn the right to express opinions on extreme right-wing forums.

The funny thing is....I'm not a liberal, but since I don't fit your perfect picture of a good little right-winger, and indiscriminantly berate the President of the United States in thoughtless fashion, I'm marginalized and asked not to post here. (except you YOUR entertainment)

Sorry, my time is far too valuable to be your jester, and besides, the REAL humor here went right over your head!

Chill out...(60's lingo) No one has asked you to leave, I was making an observation and you hit the ground swinging. You are welcome to do what you want but a friendly word of advise if you stick to RTF.... in about 60 days, these SEC boys are going to REALLY roll out the 'welcome wagon' for you (being from 'Pennsultucky' and all). Then you're going to really feel like a 'Turd in a Punch Bowl' ;) Avoid BBG, HEW and Booty like the plague....they know their shit in college football.

Mr ASU!

Marvin S
06-16-2009, 10:17 AM
...in fact, most are getting MY tax dollars in unemployment!)

How do people who don't work receive unemployment?

How do your tax dollars make it to the Unemployment Compensation fund?

Marvin S
06-16-2009, 10:21 AM
Chill out...(60's lingo) No one has asked you to leave, I was making an observation and you hit the ground swinging. You are welcome to do what you want but a friendly word of advise if you stick to RTF.... in about 60 days, these SEC boys are going to REALLY roll out the 'welcome wagon' for you (being from 'Pennsultucky' and all). Then you're going to really feel like a 'Turd in a Punch Bowl' ;) Avoid BBG, HEW and Booty like the plague....they know their shit in college football.

Mr ASU!

Speaking of college FB - how do you feel about the recruiting coup of the U Dub - getting Montana's son to commit? How long will it take us to go from 0 - umpteen to smell the Roses? :cool:

Cody Covey
06-16-2009, 11:12 AM
UDUB football is almost as painful to watch as WSU football lol.

Franco
06-16-2009, 03:04 PM
in about 60 days, these SEC boys are going to REALLY roll out the 'welcome wagon' for you (being from 'Pennsultucky' and all). Then you're going to really feel like a 'Turd in a Punch Bowl' ;) Avoid BBG, HEW and Booty like the plague....they know their shit in college football.

Mr ASU!

Dback, we've been waiting on you to join in on the college baseball thread. There is only one ASU supporter looking for help and a bunch of us SEC braggerts giving everybody hell.

Have I mentioned lately that the Big 12 is sorely over-rated?:rolleyes:

Booty

Franco
06-16-2009, 03:49 PM
Since I'm not in lock-step with Rush,




Me neither! I think Rush and Hannity do more harm to Republicans than good.

BTW, I consider myself a Conservative...not a Hannity or Rush Conservative, not a religious Conservative, not a Raegan Conservative but an old-fashioned Conservative that beleives in a small Federal government, a balanced budget and personal freedom!

Cody Covey
06-16-2009, 04:15 PM
how is that different than what Reagan rush or hannity believe?

Franco
06-16-2009, 04:51 PM
Rush and Hannity are two of former Pres. Reagan biggest supporters. Though Reagan was a huge improvement over Carter, I would hardly classify him as a Conservative.

First, no real Conservative would have out-of-control spending like we had in the Reagan years.
Two, no real Conservative would have granted Amnesty to illegal aliens. All that did was create the current flood of illegals.
Three, no real Conservative would have made the deal with Iran, trading arms for hostages.

Real Conservatives, not the new definition of Conservative stand for;

Fiscally balanced budgets/small government
Strong military
Defend the Constitution
Provide the infastructure for commerce
Personal freedom
Seperation of chruch from state

Cody Covey
06-16-2009, 05:26 PM
which if you listen to them talk is what they advocate. I partially agree with you that Rush and Hannity are bad for the conservative movement but for different reasons. They being very loud public figures are easily picked upon by liberals. They say what most all of us conservatives think, so i don't really see how you disagree with them unless you don't listen to them at all. Rush is more of the theatrical one and sometimes talks out his ass so i could see how you may disagree with a SMALL portion of what he says.

dback
06-16-2009, 05:36 PM
Dback, we've been waiting on you to join in on the college baseball thread. There is only one ASU supporter looking for help and a bunch of us SEC braggerts giving everybody hell.

Have I mentioned lately that the Big 12 is sorely over-rated?:rolleyes:

Booty

I wanted to get past this Texas game today before I opened my yapper. We've got a great bunch of kids but not the power at the plate we've had in the past. I've got a whole pile of stats saved up to throw at you SEC boyzs......IF.......we get past the Short Horns

Franco
06-16-2009, 05:55 PM
, so i don't really see how you disagree with them unless you don't listen to them at all. Rush is more of the theatrical one and sometimes talks out his ass so i could see how you may disagree with a SMALL portion of what he says.

Hannity did me in with his defense ofthe Iraq War. He keep calling it the, "frontline of defense against Islamic terrorist". We all know that is not true, the front line against the terrorist is on the Afganistan/Pakistan boarder. Our occupation of Iraq has ben a big mistake and the reason we have Obama today. He and Rush are big moth=pieces that are often wrong and that is why you will see any serious Republican candidate avoid those two like the plague. Yes, sometimes they get ot right but when a talkhost can't be objective, then they are pretty much useless.

DBack, we fear ASU the most. Your pitching is as good as ours.

dback
06-16-2009, 05:56 PM
Speaking of college FB - how do you feel about the recruiting coup of the U Dub - getting Montana's son to commit? How long will it take us to go from 0 - umpteen to smell the Roses? :cool:

Well, first off I'm glad he is staying in the PAC...BUT...it's a long ways to Feb. I'm a little suprised with his choice but you knew daddy wasn't going to stand for him to become a 'condom'. You've got a good class going but you need alot more than just him....you just lost a very good QB and what was your record with him again :-) :-) Thank God he didn't go to the SEC (several were high on his list, Georgia, LSU and Florida for starters)....the crowing from those 'Mealy Mouthed Maggots' might have forced me to open a vein.

Sorry UB that we've hijacked this thread so badly.

kjrice
06-16-2009, 07:58 PM
Well, first off I'm glad he is staying in the PAC...BUT...it's a long ways to Feb. I'm a little suprised with his choice but you knew daddy wasn't going to stand for him to become a 'condom'. You've got a good class going but you need alot more than just him....you just lost a very good QB and what was your record with him again :-) :-) Thank God he didn't go to the SEC (several were high on his list, Georgia, LSU and Florida for starters)....the crowing from those 'Mealy Mouthed Maggots' might have forced me to open a vein.

Sorry UB that we've hijacked this thread so badly.
Have you ever sought help for anger issues?

dback
06-16-2009, 10:41 PM
Have you ever sought help for anger issues?

You mean.....other than your sage counsel???????? :-) :-)

kjrice
06-17-2009, 01:30 AM
You mean.....other than your sage counsel???????? :-) :-)
LOL! You mut be working junior pretty hard, since he is going to be taking some time off in September. ;)

dback
06-17-2009, 07:55 AM
Yes, sometimes they get ot right but when a talkhost can't be objective, then they are pretty much useless.

You must agree then, that most (if not all) are pretty much worthless at times since they all (left and right) lose their objectivity.


DBack, we fear ASU the most. Your pitching is as good as ours.

Not last night......ugly.....6 run lead with Leake on the mound you'd of thought it was in the bank.

dback
06-17-2009, 08:01 AM
LOL! You mut be working junior pretty hard, since he is going to be taking some time off in September. ;)

Only if he observes rule #1

EMPLOYEE MANUAL
Rule #1: Any employee desirous of time off for Elk hunts (especially Sept. Archery Bull Elk Tags)...SHALL be accompanied by the boss :-) :-) :-)