PDA

View Full Version : Thinking it over...



Uncle Bill
08-10-2009, 05:50 PM
...and able to claim having achieved 6 dozen years of rascally living, I'm ready to re-enlist. I was sent this tidbit of info from a fellow American, and am giving it serious thought. Care to join me?

UB

A New Direction for any War: Send Service Vets over 60!


I am over 60 and the Armed
Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You
can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've
got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending
18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.
You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until
you're at least 35.


For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex
every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a
couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
enemy.


Young guys haven't lived long
enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous
soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep,
I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it
will make us feel better and shut us up for a
while.


An 18-year-old doesn't even like
to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early
to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm
tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I
may as well be up killing some fanatical
sob....


If captured we couldn't
spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.
In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.


Boot camp would be easier for old
guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at
and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years
as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the
screaming and yelling.


They could lighten up on the
obstacle course however. I've been in combat and
didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over
the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing
basic training.


Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of
energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a
bullet.


An 18-year-old has the whole world
ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up
a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his
eyes, not the back of his head.


These are all great reasons to keep
our kids at home to learn a little more about life before
sending them off into harm's
way.


Let us old guys track down those
dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy
would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old
farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that
their best years are already behind
them.


***How about recruiting Women over
50 ...with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!



If nothing else, put us on border
patrol......we will have it secured the first
night!

YardleyLabs
08-10-2009, 06:54 PM
I love it. Where do I sign?