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Ken Bora
12-07-2009, 09:27 AM
An old joke and current events, Mrs. Woods.

First the joke

A Texas Billionaire was flying first class to NYC. He asked one of the flight attendants if she would spend the weekend with him in the hotel room for a million dollars. “Of course I would Sugar” she purred while making sure his tray table was in the Upright and locked position. “Well then, how about for Fifty Dollars?” The stewardess jumped off his lap, slapped him in the face and loudly exclaimed “What kind of girl do you think I am anyway?!”
Unruffled the old oilman replied, “Well we already determined that, now we are just haggling over the price.”


Now the current events


Mrs. Tiger Woods gets a Re-nup (renegotiated prenuptial agreement) and 5 mill ca$h if she stays.


Am I the only one that sees the similarity?

.

K G
12-07-2009, 09:32 AM
Am I the only one that sees the similarity?

.

No, Ken....no you're not....:cool:

Money changes everything (makes some transgressions a LOT more tolerable) regards,

kg

Steve Amrein
12-07-2009, 11:17 AM
Got this by e-mail so I will only take credit for passing on....

Tiger Woods is so rich that
he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but
he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the
morning?
They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He
couldnt decide between a wood and an iron.

Tiger Woods has been dropped by Gillette after admitting
this incident was his closest shave ever....

This scandal shall now be referred to as Puttergate

Tiger Woods apparantly is giving up pro golf. He was
rumoured saying 'My putting is still good, but I keep
driving into the trees.

"Tiger's got a great Caddy, but it's not
enough to get him out of the rough on this one."

Why did Elin Woods use the 9 iron to bust out the
rear window?
Because she doesn't like the driver.

What club did Elin use to 'rescue' her husband? A
bitching wedge.

...and for the win...

What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals?

wait for it.......







They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

Julie R.
12-07-2009, 11:46 AM
HAHAHA those are great. I heard on a talk radio station that the tally of Tiger Woods' trysts who've gone public is now up to 9 women. Wonder if he'll have to negotiate a Re-Re-Nup?

Goose
12-08-2009, 08:05 AM
HAHAHA those are great. I heard on a talk radio station that the tally of Tiger Woods' trysts who've gone public is now up to 9 women. Wonder if he'll have to negotiate a Re-Re-Nup?

I think we're up to about 12 now. Who knows anymore but the dude does get around:) Someone should make a holiday song about Tiger's 12 women!

Like Tiger's women, this is the story that keeps on giving. Naughty texts, panicky voice mails, pictures in Playgirl, red panties with black lace, divorce, re-re-nup, payoffs, Gloria Allred, stretchers leaving his house in the middle of the night...on and on and on!

When will Tiger play (golf) again?

Roger Perry
12-08-2009, 09:27 AM
Orange County Fire and Rescue responded to a call at Tiger Woods' home around 2:30 Tuesday morning, according to several reports out of Orlando.

An unidentified blonde woman was transported by ambulance to a nearby hospital, according to the reports. According to Orlando's WESH, the adult woman initially refused transport, then was rushed to the hospital "on advanced life support."

Julie R.
12-08-2009, 09:30 AM
I think we're up to about 12 now. Who knows anymore but the dude does get around:) Someone should make a holiday song about Tiger's 12 women!

Like Tiger's women, this is the story that keeps on giving. Naughty texts, panicky voice mails, pictures in Playgirl, red panties with black lace, divorce, re-re-nup, payoffs, Gloria Allred, stretchers leaving his house in the middle of the night...on and on and on!

When will Tiger play (golf) again?

Well look at Kobe, rapist NBA player, he seems to be doing just fine ;-) Tiger will no doubt be shedding the pretty blond wife/family image so he might as well go gangster and start bragging about all his bitches, seems to work for other sports superstars!

Goose
12-08-2009, 09:47 AM
Ok, a little trivia. Who said the following?

"I don't see all this lovemaking as any kind of conquest: all I'm saying is that I like women, people are curious about my sex life, and to most people the number of women who have come and gone through my bedrooms (and various hotel rooms around the country) would boggle the mind. At my age that equals out to having sex with 1.2 women a day, every day since I was fifteen years old."

Tiger will never catch this dude:)...I don't think!

Rudd
12-08-2009, 09:51 AM
Wilt Chamberlain?

I don't know why these young, rich athletes/actors with such a high public profile think marriage is a good idea.

BrianW
12-08-2009, 09:52 AM
Wilt Chamberlain

Goose
12-08-2009, 10:21 AM
I guess that was too easy.

Hal Greer said of Wilt, "I'd see that dude plow three or four ladies a night easy. I remember the night he scored 100 points. He actually scored 125, if you catch my drift."

Billy Cunningham, "Wilt had them lined up around the block. All kinds of women. He'd turn on that charm...he'd sing them songs...sometimes we'd just walk in and sing with him."

Bill Walton, "Wilt was as prodigious off the court as on. The number was way, way up there."

Go, Tiger, go!

Ken Bora
12-08-2009, 10:28 AM
25 in one night?

ducknwork
12-08-2009, 10:57 AM
I was gonna guess Gene Simmons. Nutz.

Steve Amrein
12-11-2009, 09:13 AM
Whats the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa ???


Santa stops at 3 ho's

Goose
12-11-2009, 05:57 PM
Whats the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa ???


Santa stops at 3 ho's

What are we up to? 12? Only Gloria Allred knows for sure. Tiger probably lost count a long time ago. I guess he's spending some time on his yacht these days to rid himself of those pesky reporters. Not sure if his bride is with him.

And there are rumors of a little Tiger-cub out there somewhere.

So does golf survive this and what good is the sport without Tiger? Does Tiger give up golf or give up Elin?

Golf or Elin...what would you do?

Pals
12-11-2009, 06:44 PM
Looks like the choice is his family.

YardleyLabs
12-12-2009, 06:55 AM
Looks like the choice is his family.
Good choice. I hope he sticks with it.

Steve Amrein
12-12-2009, 08:32 AM
He's commited alright............ To his money.

Goose
12-12-2009, 07:48 PM
The dude made $110,000,000 last year and he obviously enjoys spending it. Come April he'll be swinging clubs again because the only other skill he has is dippin' his wick and he's got a yacht to pay for. He couldn't care less about his family. Just look how he's been treating them from day one. He's just pissed that he got caught.

Julie R.
12-12-2009, 09:25 PM
He's commited alright............ To his money.

Well she is too so she deserves him.

Goose
12-14-2009, 08:30 AM
Gatorade's out, Accenture's done and Gillette's about to do the same thing. This leaves EA Sports, Tag Heur, AT&T and Nike. I'm sure there are a few more but Tiger better get ready to sell that yacht!

Elin's leaving him after the holidays and moving out with the kids (and half of Tiger's stash).

Maybe Trojan, Viagra or KY His/Hers Lube could fill in for Gatorade, Accenture and Gillette.

SMITTYSSGTUSMC
12-14-2009, 10:12 AM
Gatorade's out, Accenture's done and Gillette's about to do the same thing. This leaves EA Sports, Tag Heur, AT&T and Nike. I'm sure there are a few more but Tiger better get ready to sell that yacht!

Elin's leaving him after the holidays and moving out with the kids (and half of Tiger's stash).

Maybe Trojan, Viagra or KY His/Hers Lube could fill in for Gatorade, Accenture and Gillette.

Tag's out as well now!!!