If,like me, you are fed up... [Archive] - RetrieverTraining.Net - the RTF

: If,like me, you are fed up...

Uncle Bill
01-31-2010, 10:45 AM
...with having to "press 1 if you speak English"...comes now the European answer to the problem. Enjoy.


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Terry Britton
01-31-2010, 12:41 PM
Ja. Das is gut. Iche wunschte, wir konnten sie an Bord bei Verwendung einer Sprache mit einfachen Rechtschreibung. Ich wurde es vorziehen eine germantic Sprche wei Englisch oder Deutsch uber Spanisch.

01-31-2010, 01:00 PM
Sprechen sie ein fur Deutsch?

Uncle Bill
01-31-2010, 04:36 PM
Wow...Youse are gut!

I'm primarily a Berlitz grad...I learnt "nawsing", and "sumsing" etc. Hey!..da frauleins in Meinz sot ish ben nifty.:rolleyes:


01-31-2010, 05:47 PM
This proposal was put forth by Dalton Edwards in the 40's in a short essay entitled "Meihem in ce Klasrum".


Terry Britton
01-31-2010, 11:21 PM