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Gerry Clinchy
12-15-2010, 03:06 PM
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."


Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.


Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."


The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's Texas , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "I will create Washington , DC . Wait till you see the idiots I put there."

sandyg
12-15-2010, 03:28 PM
I can name a couple in PA as well...

road kill
12-15-2010, 03:29 PM
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."


Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.


Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."


The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's Texas , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "I will create Washington , DC . Wait till you see the idiots I put there."

Say what???????:confused:


RK

M&K's Retrievers
12-15-2010, 06:03 PM
Say what???????:confused:


RK

Hey Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

david gibson
12-15-2010, 06:36 PM
as a 6th generation texan on both mom and dad's sides i tried really hard to like this joke, but i just cant. its just too dumb.

Duck Blind
12-15-2010, 08:32 PM
Can someone please tell me what "GDG" means? Sorry, I am a newbie!

david gibson
12-15-2010, 09:02 PM
GDG = goofy democrat geekheads

Clay Rogers
12-16-2010, 04:48 AM
GDG = goofy democrat geekheads

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

That's funny right there.

dnf777
12-16-2010, 04:50 AM
GDG = goofy democrat geekheads

I will not violate our truce, but this is mighty tempting!

Hew
12-16-2010, 06:40 AM
At DFW airport a man was watching passengers disembark from their plane. It seemed like most of the plane's passengers were midgets. The man figured that there must be a little person convention or something going on in town. As the flight attendents exited the plane the man asked them, "Hey, what's the deal with all the midgets?" One of the attendents said, "Oh, we had some horrible turbulence...those aren't midgets; they're Texans that had the sh!t scared out of 'em."

sandyg
12-16-2010, 08:29 AM
I will not violate our truce, but this is mighty tempting!

Why is it tempting? I thought you were an Independent?

dnf777
12-16-2010, 10:19 AM
Why is it tempting? I thought you were an Independent?

sat·ire   /ˈsætaɪər/ Show Spelled
[sat-ahyuhr] Show IPA

–noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
Use satire in a Sentence
See images of satire
Search satire on the Web

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Origin:
1500–10; < L satira, var. of satura medley, perh. fem. deriv. of satur sated ( see saturate)

sandyg
12-16-2010, 11:01 AM
sat·ire   /ˈsætaɪər/ Show Spelled
[sat-ahyuhr] Show IPA

–noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
Use satire in a Sentence
See images of satire
Search satire on the Web

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Origin:
1500–10; < L satira, var. of satura medley, perh. fem. deriv. of satur sated ( see saturate)


What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

FINALLY!!!!!

duk4me
12-20-2010, 04:03 PM
At DFW airport a man was watching passengers disembark from their plane. It seemed like most of the plane's passengers were midgets. The man figured that there must be a little person convention or something going on in town. As the flight attendents exited the plane the man asked them, "Hey, what's the deal with all the midgets?" One of the attendents said, "Oh, we had some horrible turbulence...those aren't midgets; they're Texans that had the sh!t scared out of 'em."

this from a man living in Cuba where they can't even count votes.:rolleyes:

Texas where everyone wants to live whether they admit it or not......well not Cliff Lee but everyone else.

starjack
12-20-2010, 04:07 PM
this from a man living in Cuba where they can't even count votes.:rolleyes:

Texas where everyone wants to live whether they admit it or not......well not Cliff Lee but everyone else.

I THINK NOT.

duk4me
12-20-2010, 04:09 PM
I THINK NOT.

From someone so proud of their home they don't even show it? Oh thats right you are a starman.:p

starjack
12-20-2010, 04:21 PM
From someone so proud of their home they don't even show it? Oh thats right you are a starman.:p

DUVALL WISCONSIN NORTH EAST

duk4me
12-22-2010, 01:39 PM
DUVALL WISCONSIN NORTH EAST

Oh I get it that Favorite er I mean Favre thing. Heres hoping you have lots of cheese and firewood.:p