One Cardinal I thought would have made a great Pope was Pujois, but he's an Angel now!
Didn't originate this but thought it very good dry humor :).
02-28-2013, 12:04 PM
From our engineer retiree's newsletter:
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called to him & said "if you kiss me I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog & put it inot his pocket. The frog spoke up again & said "If you kiss me i'll turn back into a princess & stay with you for a week".
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it & returned the frog to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me & turn me into a princess, I'll stay with you for 1 week & do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it & put the frog back into his pocket.
Finally the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess & will stay with you for 1 week & do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer replied, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's :cool:."
02-28-2013, 12:19 PM
What do Engineers use for birth control?
03-01-2013, 11:52 AM
For the boomers :) -
A boomer visits their doctor & asks "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
The doc says "We fill up a bathtub, then offer a teaspoon, a teacup & a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," the boomer says "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or teacup."
The doc says "No, a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
03-01-2013, 12:03 PM
President Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name.
" Walter," responds the little boy.
"And what is your question, Walter?"
"I have four questions"
First, "Why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?"
Second, "Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it's actually gotten worse?"
Third, "Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?"
Fourth, "Why are we lending money to Brazil to drill for oil, but America is not allowed to drill for oil?"
Just then, the bell rings for recess.
Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Obama says, "OK, where were we?
Oh, that's right: question time..
Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.
"Jack," he responds.
"And what is your question, Jack?"
Actually, I have two questions.
First, "Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?"
Second, "What the HECK happened to Walter?"
03-01-2013, 12:07 PM
Almost as funny as President Barack!
I have a strange sense of humor
03-07-2013, 09:25 PM
Thanks to recent medical advances, people can now be sexually active long past the age when anyone wants to see them naked :).