Political Correctness (PC) – the loss of words and phrases

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hew

You should have opted for a fourth cut-n-paste of the make believe Citibank story. At least it was, a) in English, b) made sense and c) was amusing.

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I just figure this dude is a troll

Thought I had some in the archives...but as is so frequently the case, I forgot the admonition given me eons ago, when reading "PCs for Dummies"... namely: When putting something into memory, remember where you put it.

So this is what I stumbled on today. Enjoy, UB

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a...
'BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' - She is...
'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'

3. She is not 'EASY' - She is...
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a...
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a...
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is...
'REALITY IMPAIRED...'

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' - She gets.
'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She is...
'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'

9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes...
'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is...
'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'


11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' - She is...
'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'


12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a...
'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND
BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a....
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'


2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is...
'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'


3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He...
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'


4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in...
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'


5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers...
'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'


6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He becomes...
'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL..'


7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of...
'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'


8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' - He has...
'SWINE EMPATHY.'


9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is...
'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'


10. He is not 'HORNY' - He is
'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'


11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's....
'REAR CLEAVAGE '

Please use your best judgment when referring to these people,
so as to make it more comfortable for the rest of us