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Thread: GDG - Why Old Men (Or Old Women) Don't get Hired

  1. #11
    Senior Member Gerry Clinchy's Avatar
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    It is almost tax time...again...think "fondly" of the politicians elected to take your money.

    The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
    The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

    The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which
    you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

    I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
    The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

    Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
    The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

    Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
    Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

    Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
    Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

    The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness.
    He starts to get nervous.

    'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of
    your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

    The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy
    could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

    Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream
    reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

    The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
    But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

    'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
    'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me
    twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

    Don't Mess with Old People!!
    G.Clinchy@gmail.com
    "Know in your heart that all things are possible. We couldn't conceive of a miracle if none ever happened." -Libby Fudim

    ​I don't use the PM feature, so just email me direct at the address shown above.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Gerry Clinchy's Avatar
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    On a more serious note ... didn't always agree with Steve Jobs, but I can agree with this
    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...count=1&ref=nf
    G.Clinchy@gmail.com
    "Know in your heart that all things are possible. We couldn't conceive of a miracle if none ever happened." -Libby Fudim

    ​I don't use the PM feature, so just email me direct at the address shown above.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Sue Kiefer's Avatar
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    I think I've used that "I don't give a sh4t line " once or twice.
    Years ago I used to say it.
    Now I actually mean it which is even more scary. ?
    Thanks for the laughs.
    Sue
    Never confuse activity with success.

    "Ummmmmmm Isn't a word." Judge Judy

  4. #14
    Senior Member Gerry Clinchy's Avatar
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    A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under a hugh buck.

    "Where's Harry?", asked another hunter.

    "He fainted a couple miles up the trail," Harry's partner answered.

    "You left him lying there alone and carried the deer back?"

    "It was a tough decision," said the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Harry."
    G.Clinchy@gmail.com
    "Know in your heart that all things are possible. We couldn't conceive of a miracle if none ever happened." -Libby Fudim

    ​I don't use the PM feature, so just email me direct at the address shown above.

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