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Thread: The demise of the two parent family

  1. #21
    Senior Member HPL's Avatar
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    I too was raised by my mom, but I think that when we talk about the problem with single parent families, what we are usually talking about are families that are single parent by choice (divorce, never married, etc), not single parent because one of the parents was killed (like my dad and Lesa's) or died from some natural cause. I don't doubt that I would be a different man had my dad been there to help, but my mom did a pretty good job. I got through school and college and married a nice girl and will be celebrating out 37th in March. My dad was killed on the highway (if you can call those roads in La. that) when I was only 6 and my brother was not yet 2. My mom was college educated, my dad was an engineer for Standard Oil, my aunt and uncle were also college grads, mom's mom a teacher, (as was my mom and her sister) so education counted in my family. My mom's friends were teachers, lawyers, business people, and my mom made sure that she knew what my friends and I were up to. My mom had me convinced that I was recognizable enough and that she knew enough people that I would never be able to get away with anything.

    One interesting thing is that most of the parents of my school friends stayed married, and in fact of my four or five closest friends, all their parents stayed married, and all but one of my good friends from grade and highschool are still married to THEIR original spouses. My inlaws have been married for 61 yrs.
    Last edited by HPL; 01-27-2014 at 05:06 PM.
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  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lesa Cozens Dauphin View Post
    I was raised by a single Mom. My father was killed in an oil field related accident when I was a teenager. He left behind my Mom, myself, a sister and a brother. I think our family was a success because my Mom did her best to raise us with respect for society and ourselves. We had rules and there were punishments for not following those rules. One of her rules that I so much appreciate today is sitting down as a family for dinner...no tv...no excuse other than a job for missing those dinners. She is gone now and i would give anything for the opportunity to have just one more of those dinners.

    I feel that the failures with families these days is less because of single parents and more that parents are not raising their kids with respect for anything. They want to be the kids friend, not a parent with responsibilities. I don't have a clue who to blame for this change...but it has to be fixed. The problem is you can't legislate good parenting.

    lesa c
    I was raised by my immigrant maternal grandparents from Belgium. My Grandmother (dead of a stroke @68, I was 12) instilled a sense of responsibility in me that I carry to this day, my grandfather provided the father figure. My parents were both drunks & died young because of it. When grandpa remarried I was passed around the family for my ration coupons. Worked for some people as a farm hand to make it through my last 2 years of HS. Had it not been for standardized tests I would not have gathered the attention of educators & gone on to higher education.

    I have a burial plot next to my grandparents where there will be a headstone for my wife & I next to my grandparents. I still miss the smell of Grandpa's White Owl, which he would light up about once a week. Grandpa used to say there are 3 types of people in this country: City folks, Town folks & Country folks & they all have a different way of seeing right & wrong. I see that on this forum & am certainly glad many who post here haven't had anything to do with raising any of my descendants. It's a lot more complicated than the solutions posted but LBJ's Great Society & Nixon's minimum family income really put the nail in the coffin, I'm not sure that can be reversed but it should be. No one should ever get something for nothing & if they do, they should feel guilty about accepting it!

    I read & hear the sob stories of folks doing without Xmas & presents. I did without those things most of my life & find it not so bad, so wonder what the issue is. I do donate to the SA after the 1st of the year for their yearly expenses.
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  3. #23
    Senior Member Golddogs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by coachmo View Post
    Progressives will never admit the part they have played in the break down of the American family. NEVER!!!
    I suppose then, that is true for the NeoCons also. Party affiliation has nothing to do with how a child is raised single or not. Blame lies on the parent(s).
    Never trust a dog to watch your food!

  4. #24
    Senior Member BonMallari's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Golddogs View Post
    I suppose then, that is true for the NeoCons also. Party affiliation has nothing to do with how a child is raised single or not. Blame lies on the parent(s).
    agree for the most part...BUT there is there is ample documentation that certain ethnic groups have done poorly when raising children in single parent homes, and those groups are pandered to by progressives with "free programs" and entitlements..
    All my Exes live in Texas

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    A few things that I learned still ring true. "Lanse when you get a gift, say thank you and walk away. When you get a screwing walk away. You are going to get a lot more screwings than gifts"

  5. #25
    Senior Member coachmo's Avatar
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    You can absolutely blame the Neo-cons as well but if you don't believe government programs and progressives i.e. socialist have played a vital part in our failed social structure then well I don't know what to think! I can attest to growing up in a single parent home and yes my brother and I have turned out ok (at least by most people's standards). It's all about the family and the values, ethics and ideals instilled in an individual by positive, role models; however IMO the government rarely helps but can hinder in regards to this. Which it has on multiple fronts.

  6. #26
    Senior Member JDogger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BonMallari View Post
    agree for the most part...BUT there is there is ample documentation that certain ethnic groups have done poorly when raising children in single parent homes, and those groups are pandered to by progressives with "free programs" and entitlements..
    Shame on you! As has been said here before....a stinking pot of jenkem. One minority trashing another.. Classy....
    One cannot reason someone out of something they were not reasoned into. - Jonathan Swift

  7. #27
    Senior Member Raymond Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JDogger View Post
    Shame on you! As has been said here before....a stinking pot of jenkem. One minority trashing another.. Classy....
    Bull!, Asians have come to America for a hundred years with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They work hard, value the family and education. They learn our language,customs and assimilate.
    The other group you defend has had every opportunity to be successful but after years of tax payer help they still can't shake the jungle mentality. They continue to use their skin color as a crutch to demand more from the producers because they are owed Reperations. The most frightful thought to the Dims is a growing black middle class, its hard to buy into the poverty pimps message when they finally realize someone has a hand in their pocket.
    Just Win

  8. #28
    Senior Member JDogger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raymond Little View Post
    Bull!, Asians have come to America for a hundred years with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They work hard, value the family and education. They learn our language,customs and assimilate.
    The other group you defend has had every opportunity to be successful but after years of tax payer help they still can't shake the jungle mentality. They continue to use their skin color as a crutch to demand more from the producers because they are owed Reperations. The most frightful thought to the Dims is a growing black middle class, its hard to buy into the poverty pimps message when they finally realize someone has a hand in their pocket.
    Guess you haven't been to the 99 Bhan market in Abq. Assimilation is the middle name if you care for thawed fish in the freezer cases....signs only in Not english. The smell of rotting fish and meat is over whelming. Home to a coon-azz I guess....but they try...even if they do not do.
    I do buy some noodles... and they accept EBT

    Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes regards, JD
    Last edited by JDogger; 01-27-2014 at 11:45 PM.
    One cannot reason someone out of something they were not reasoned into. - Jonathan Swift

  9. #29
    Senior Member BonMallari's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JDogger View Post
    Shame on you! As has been said here before....a stinking pot of jenkem. One minority trashing another.. Classy....
    maybe you have never seen how I classify myself JD...I am an AMERICAN of Filipino descent...my mother and father made sure we NEVER referred to ourselves as Filipino American...as my dad said he and his Army pals worked too damn hard to earn the title of American citizen for himself and his family, and made sure we understood the difference..I have never used my "minority" status for any advantage, I got my scholarships and national merit scholar based on my grades not the color of my skin or slant of my eyes..FACT

    Minority status didnt get my brother into med school either,because we tried using that angle too...he got in based on merit, because he sure didnt know anybody of influence to pull any strings...
    All my Exes live in Texas

    Quote Originally Posted by lanse brown View Post
    A few things that I learned still ring true. "Lanse when you get a gift, say thank you and walk away. When you get a screwing walk away. You are going to get a lot more screwings than gifts"

  10. #30
    Senior Member GaryJ's Avatar
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    My dad walked out on my mom when I was 5 and my sister was 2 months old. My mom came from England and had a menial job. My fathers parents took us all in. Yep all 3 of us. My grandfather dug graves and set monuments in the cemetery while working at the steel mill. My grandmother stayed at home. I was the odd child in school growing up without a dad. I thank God for my grandparents who took us in. I was raised with a strong work ethic and to be respectful and truthful.

    I really don't don't know how to fix the problem but I do know we all have choices. My choice was not to be like my dad. I decided when I got married it would be for life. This year I will be married to my sweetheart for 38 years.
    What if all we have today is what we gave thanks for yesterday?

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