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Thread: Things NOT to say to your pregnant wife-GDG

  1. #1
    Senior Member labdoc's Avatar
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    Default Things NOT to say to your pregnant wife-GDG

    Things Not To Say To Your Pregnant Wife



    "I finished the Oreo's."

    "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."

    "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby..."

    "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

    "Well, couldn't they induce labor ? The 25th is the Super Bowl."

    "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

    "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

    "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

    "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

    "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

    "Get your *own* ice cream."

    "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

    "Got milk?"

    "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

    "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

    "Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water..."

    "Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your butt!"

    "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger..."
    Curt

    Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!----Benjamin Franklin

  2. #2
    Senior Member Jerry's Avatar
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    LOL, Sweet Bride told me the other day that she had lost 20 lbs.

    I laughed and said that the breast that was removed weighed that much. She didn't appreciate that at all.

    Jerry
    "Where The Hell Is Bedias, TX?"

  3. #3
    Senior Member Peake's Avatar
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    "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?" One of the tamer ones on the list but I actually said that one last night to the wife the results were not good! :P
    Peake - Soon to be adding #4 a Bird Girl this time!
    ________
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    Last edited by Peake; 03-25-2011 at 05:19 PM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Uncle Bill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peake
    "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
    One of the tamer ones on the list but I actually said that one last night...the results were not good! :P
    Peake - Soon to be adding #4 a Bird Girl this time!
    Congrats, Dave. 8)

    Now that she's got someone in the family to side with her, (2 females against 4 males are perfect odds) it's my guess you won't be adding many more to the nest. The grim snipper can't be far away.

    But hey!!! a triple and a blind planter hain't bad.

    UB
    When the one you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Laranie Labs's Avatar
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    I asked my wife while she was pregnant if I could use her undies as a car cover when she was done with them!

    Still regrettin that one regards,

    Larry
    Give 'em hell Devils! PT-42

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jerry's Avatar
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    LOL, and the sad part is Wives just don't have any appreciation for our tremendous sense of humor!!!!

    Jerry
    "Where The Hell Is Bedias, TX?"

  7. #7
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    "you look like a pregnant sow" OUCH! that was well over twenty years ago and I'm reminded of it occasionally.

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    Default pregnant

    Who is the only person on earth more unhappy than a woman nine months pregnant? Her husband!

    Sleeping with the dogs regards,

    Tom

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