This was forwarded to me by a friend who does not participate in our give & take sessions on politics - I thought it appropriate at this time & very true.
The following "speech" was written by a Maine-iac (A resident of the People's Republic of Maine). While satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective. This is an excellent piece by someone who does not do this for a living.
The resignation speech George W Bush should give:
Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans", not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know that something terrible has happened, & that you're not fellow Americans any longer.
I'll cut right to the chase here, I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the wqrld. Or of what's going on in this once great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by the politicians & the news media. Meanwhile all you can do is whine about gas prices, & most of you are too stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, & because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears & beachfront property than your economic security.
We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this "blood for oil" thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would have already seized Iraq's oil fields & let the rest of the country go to Hell. & don't give me this "Bush Lied, People Died" crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be "discovered". Instead I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.
Let me remind you that the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named "Clinton" established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you.
Now some of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics, & this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan, a nuclear ally. And then he wqnts to go to Iran & make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that, He wants to give Iraq to al-Queda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians & your money to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him. He also thinks we just need to sit down & talk to Iran & things would be better (what do you think we have been doing behind the scenes) & we should stop foreign aid to Israel. Did you sleep through high school or what?
You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political & economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to outspend & out-tech them.
That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they were'nt also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, & they are all over the globe. You should be grateful that they have'nt gotten any more of us here in the US since September 11. But you're not. That's because you have no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement & homelan security people have worked to make sure of that.
When the whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long & difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long & difficult fight amounts to a single season of "Survivor". Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think wars should last a few months.
Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy a NY Times, every donation to a cut & run Democrat's political campaign, well dang it, you might as well Fedex a grenade launcher to a jihadist. It amounts to the same thing. In this day & age, it's easy to find the truth. It's all over the INTERNET. it just is'nt on the front page of the NY Times, USA Today or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing with the Stars.
I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be here to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level & has a hurricane approaching. I could say more about your insane bellief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.
So, I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy efficient house (Al Gore can only dream) & the capability to be fully self sufficient for years.
Oh & BTW, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are enough of you remaining smart enough to turn this thing around. Some of you know what I mean, the rest ----
PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, & buy a Koran.