Let's have some fun with our "useless credentials" FUN GDG

[Fowl Play WA]

We all are "credentialed" in something, even if it's at the fault of our own stupidity or dumb luck. Some people are only qualified to BS, and they do that quite well, and that's fine, that's where they shine. So, what are your useless or stupid or accidental credentials?

I'll start with my most recent aquisition:

I am officially credentialed in the area of leashes, particularly those that can slide (or is it slice) through your hand when you're trying to stop a dog. (healing nicely by the way). I know have the experience to give advice on leashes, and learning when to let go, and that you should wear gloves.

[Juli H]

Useless credential....
losing or breaking electronic items - digital cameras mostly, and also one cell phone

[1st retriever]

Breaking my laptop not once, not twice, but three times! Hitting a deer with my new truck. Oh and lets not forget cussing so bad it would make a sailor blush!

[fishduck]

My useless credentials are these. The ability to make ducks migrate to other areas by simply strapping on a pair of waders. My dogs now think all ducks come out of the freezer in my basement.
Mark L.

[2tall]

I have a couple of areas of expertise. I can nearly always get a dummy stuck in a tree above and behind me when I am actually aiming at a spot 30 feet in front of me.

I can teach your dog to creep like a marine crawling on his belly while yodeling just like an alpine skier at the same time.

[Juli H]

I have a couple of areas of expertise. I can nearly always get a dummy stuck in a tree above and behind me when I am actually aiming at a spot 30 feet in front of me.

I can teach your dog to creep like a marine crawling on his belly while yodeling just like an alpine skier at the same time.

oh yes - the bumper in the tree or on the roof! I have that credential too...funny, because I've never done that with a duck!

Sounds like you have a possible winner for David Letterman's stupid pet tricks!

Juli

[Fowl Play WA]

oh yes - the bumper in the tree or on the roof! I have that credential too...funny, because I've never done that with a duck!

Sounds like you have a possible winner for David Letterman's stupid pet tricks!

Juli

I have a tendancy to toss it over the neighbors fence.

[Julie R.]

I am the queen of wrecking expensive machinery. Give me a great big field with ONE rock in it and I will run over it with the bush hog if I don't smash the tractor into it first. I can use our zero turn mower on a golf course and hit a rock or stump hard enough to shear off the mower deck. I can take a brand new dentless truck and turn it around in an empty parking lot and back it into the one lamppost. I'm the only person I know that wrecked BOTH my vehicles at once in my own driveway--I cut a turn too short and smashed my jeep into an old Chrysler Lebaron conv. once. We had to get a tow truck to pry them apart.

[Shayne Mehringer]

I can touch my nose with my tongue.

SM

[1st retriever]

I am the queen of wrecking expensive machinery. Give me a great big field with ONE rock in it and I will run over it with the bush hog if I don't smash the tractor into it first. I can use our zero turn mower on a golf course and hit a rock or stump hard enough to shear off the mower deck. I can take a brand new dentless truck and turn it around in an empty parking lot and back it into the one lamppost. I'm the only person I know that wrecked BOTH my vehicles at once in my own driveway--I cut a turn too short and smashed my jeep into an old Chrysler Lebaron conv. once. We had to get a tow truck to pry them apart.

Holy crap woman!!!