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Thread: Oh Man I got a funny Duck story

  1. #1
    Senior Member Ken Bora's Avatar
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    Default Oh Man I got a funny Duck story

    The following is true. I did not change any names. One of my co-workers is a 20-year-old female. She is an animal right activist, vegetarian hippy. She does know I live for duck hunting; train Chesapeake’s to pick up ducks and usually have guns in the truck.
    She is a very smart girl and we often have great discussions about our opposite views.

    She told me this story yesterday, I must share. There is a grocery store in the hart of town called city market that only other sandal-wearing hippies shop at. She went to this store with a couple friends yesterday morning. Outside the store was a “Hurt, Crippled Mallard Duck” She was sure it had escaped some hunter and needed help. She and her friends gathered around the poor beast and tried to help it. As they all had phones, one called the police. One called a vet they knew and another went into the market for help. The police dispatched the city animal control officer to the scene. The vet on the phone advised to keep the duck warm. The store manager said she would get blankets and went back inside and came out with poofy towels from the store stock.

    As they are there, huddled round the duck getting ready to wrap the freezing wounded duck in swaddling towels a fellow with a shopping cart and bottles walks up. Addresses the duck with “Hi Daffy, want your popcorn?” and tosses a handful of bagged corn onto the pavement and the duck springs to live and woofs down the corn. The circle of hippies gets excited and yells at the bum (shopping cart gentleman) to back off as the duck is obviously seriously injured and needs to be kept calm until the medics arrive.
    The bum replies, “That’s Daffy, he is here every morning and I feed him corn” As the bum is speaking and the hippies are yelling, the duck finishes the corn and flies away.
    At that moment animal control pulls into the lot. Gives my co-worker a stern talking to about calling in a false report. She insists there was a seriously injured duck right here but the bum scared it away. Animal control says “Oh, Daffy? He is here every morning. Just give him some corn and he will fly away.”

    Sometimes these animal rights folk just crack me up. They try so hard to do well.
    Ken Bora
    "So what is big is not always the Trout nor the Deer but the chance, the being there. And what is full is not necessarily the creel nor the freezer, but the memory." ~ Aldo Leopold

    "The Greatest Obstacle to Discovery is not Ignorance -- It is the Illusion of Knowledge" ~ Daniel Boorstin

  2. #2
    Senior Member Lady Duck Hunter's Avatar
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    Great story!
    When it stops being fun, I will find something else to do with my time and money.

    The Lady

  3. #3
    Senior Member John Kelder's Avatar
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    Love Daffy . Love those edumakated do gooders .

    I come around the corner and almost a** end a volvo . People are gathered around a doe hit by a car .They are going to the people hospital up the road to get a doctor . Can't make this up . Cop shows up . Doesn't want to put the mortally head injured doe down ,wants me to.
    I didn't have anything legal to do it with , so he shoots it . They flipped out when they got back ,as no MD would help them ,and the cop was sick from watching me dress the deer . Then they got sick . Sausage was great .........
    SEMPER FI . FROM MY COLD , DEAD HANDS .

    www.bashakilllabradors.com

  4. #4
    Senior Member KwickLabs's Avatar
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    Years ago my vet told me that he got a late night phone call. It seems a man and his wife had hit a deer. They wanted a vet to come out and take care of the situation. When he arrived it was clear the deer was not going to survive and needed to be "dispatched". So Doc quickly returned from his truck to take care of it.

    As he was sharpening a knife, the women became quite agitated. The husband came over and said his wife was terribly upset and wanted to have the deer "put to sleep" like vets do with dogs.

    Doc explained to the man the method and cost of a "canine like" procedure. In addition, the money would have to paid up front. The man turned around said to his wife, "Get in the car. We are leaving."
    Jim Boyer www.kwicklabs.com
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  5. #5
    Senior Member kb27_99's Avatar
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    Oh man, i am cring right now. Thats hilarious Ken.


    Kevin
    "SR Isabel's Going for gold"
    "Kallie's Anatomy Of Grey"

    Both lazy house pets untill you ask, "do you want to go play"!

  6. #6
    Senior Member MAGIC's Avatar
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    That's funny, love that one.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Sharon Potter's Avatar
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    Too funny, Ken.

    A few years back, my horse vet got a frantic call from a woman who had found a raccoon alongside the road...clearly had been hit by a car, but wasn't dead. He was in his truck and on the road when she called, so he headed that direction. Upon arrival, it was clear the coon was circling the drain and wasn't going to live. He didn't have a gun with him, and wasn't about to try and get a needle in this critter...so he thinks for a second, and grabs his big steel hoof testers from the back of the truck, and whomps the coon in the head, promptly killing it. The woman was horrified...but what else was he going to do? Let it suffer?

    To this day, we refer to hoof testers as R.E.D.s...racoon euthanisa devices.
    Sharon Potter

    www.redbranchkennels.net

    Chesapeake Bay Retrievers...too many to list.

    Team Huntsmith

  8. #8
    Senior Member HuntinDawg's Avatar
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    Good stories, I'm enjoying them.

    One of my good friends used to be a police officer in Peachtree City, GA. This is one of the first planned developments in the country and some of the residents aren't exactly in touch with the real world. Not only do they not allow discharge of firearms, they also do not allow firing of any single projectile weapon so that precludes any form of deer hunting. Naturally they are overrun with deer. They have to pay snipers to shoot them at the little private airport they have (why not have people pay to bowhunt there instead of paying snipers???).

    Anyway, my friend gets a call about vandalism at a residence (he is a big hunter, shooter and retriever enthusiast btw). When he gets there the lady tells him that someone has vandalized her flower beds right next to her house. She shows him churned up soil and damaged/missing plants/flowers, etc. She goes on and on about the vandalism. He says "Ma'am, do you see this?" She replies "yes." He informs her "that is a deer track. The deer are eating your plants." "Well what are you going to do about it?" she asks indignantly. "Nothing ma'am, I suggest you tell the city council that we need to allow bowhunting inside the city limits" he says. She exclaims "oh, I don't want you to hurt them, I just want you to trap them and release them somewhere else." He says "Uh-huh, have a nice day ma'am."

    This was not an unusual conversation for him...and these idiots vote.
    ---------------------------------------------
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    "When you go to a test or a trial, your dog should be underwhelmed." ~ Evan Graham

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  9. #9
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    One of my professors in vet school had spent a fair amount of time in private practice. He tells the story of working late one night when there is a loud vigorous knock a the door. He answers and in walk a man and woman holding a rabbit that he had hit with his car. The guy was obviously trying to impress the woman by asking for treatment for the rabbit. The vet figured out what was going on and said he would do what he could at no charge and they left. After they were gone the rabbit died and he realized that he was hungry. Then he had one of those "Great" ideas that we all get when we are very tired and it is very late. He decided to "pressure cook" it in the autoclave (used to sterilize surgical instrument with heat and pressure). Of course this was NOT a good idea, took him the better part of the next day to get the autoclave cleaned up.
    Nate Baxter, DVM
    Lebanon, OH

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