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Thread: "Dumb America"...

  1. #51
    Senior Member JDogger's Avatar
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    Someone on a googlegroup I belong to posted this a few days ago. Thought I'd share


    __________


    Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner
    kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in
    anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40horse
    Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.

    That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazzard fan that I was, I
    quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up Tshirt doused in chainsaw gas
    tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Keep
    in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasnt any fire
    danger.. Ill put it this way- a set of post hole diggers and a 3ft. hole and
    you had yourself a well.

    One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak
    stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand
    new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off. I grabbed the
    can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out
    in a dissapointing manner... lets face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather
    like myself, ether really doesnt "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the
    house and got a 1-pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader
    rifles).. At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up
    the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around
    the ether can but it all sorta dumped out. No biggie... 1 lb pyrodex and 16
    oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?

    You know what? Screw that. Im going back in the house for the other can.
    Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'. I
    stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2-stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my
    cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a 'clunk' as the arrow launched
    from my bow.. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting
    out of the truck... OH SHIT he just got home from work.

    So help me God, it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the
    can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his
    eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce
    the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of
    pyrodex and into the can. Oh. Shit.

    When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I dont know if it was the
    actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235
    decibels of sound. I caught a half a milisecond glimpse of the violence
    during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and
    bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground as far as i could see. It was like a
    little low-to-the-ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders,
    and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE
    DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

    There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice
    i said "was". That mother got up and ran off. So here I am, on the ground
    blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats Tshirt shredded, my dad
    is on the other side of the carport having what i can only assume is a Viet
    Nam flashback, 'ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE, YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE
    FIRE DAMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!' His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him
    in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out
    and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft over our backyard.
    There is a Honda 185s 3-wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the
    fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires. I wish i knew what
    I said to my dad at this moment. I dont know- I know I said something. I
    couldnt hear. I couldnt hear inside my own head. I dont think he heard me
    either.... not that it would really matter. I dont remember much from this
    point on.. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I
    felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later.... repeat this process for an
    hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give
    me CPR so dad could beat me some more. Bring him back to life so dad can
    kill him again. Thanks mom.
    One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had
    been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about
    it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business. Dad sold his muzzloaders
    a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality,
    either from the blast or the beating. Or both. I guess what im trying to say
    is, get your kids into archery. Its good discipline and will teach them
    skills they can use later on in life.
    Last edited by JDogger; 03-31-2009 at 09:23 AM.
    One cannot reason someone out of something they were not reasoned into. - Jonathan Swift

  2. #52
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    I call BS on the last one with the blackpowder.

    We used to pour gunpowder on ant dens, and use firecrackers and their fuses to light the gunpowder. It would just fizzle up. It won't blow up without some kind of containment to allow the pressure to build up.
    Terry Britton, P.E.

    Engineers believe that if it isn't broken, it doesn't have enough features yet.

  3. #53
    Senior Member YardleyLabs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry Britton View Post
    I call BS on the last one with the blackpowder.

    We used to pour gunpowder on ant dens, and use firecrackers and their fuses to light the gunpowder. It would just fizzle up. It won't blow up without some kind of containment to allow the pressure to build up.
    I agree on the black powder. Ether would certainly blow up with very little encouragement. However, I'm not sure why anyone would have a can of ether around. Scary stuff. When we would find old cans in hospitals we had to call the bomb squad to remove them.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by YardleyLabs View Post
    I agree on the black powder. Ether would certainly blow up with very little encouragement. However, I'm not sure why anyone would have a can of ether around. Scary stuff. When we would find old cans in hospitals we had to call the bomb squad to remove them.
    That is how you buy powder for the old fashioned black powder guns or for reloading. The powder comes in 1 lb cans, and easily lasts 20 plus years. It doesn't take long to reload 1lb worth of powder in shotshells either. Paper sitting around a table with a lit candle is more dangerous than a can of powder stored away in a location away from heat.
    Terry Britton, P.E.

    Engineers believe that if it isn't broken, it doesn't have enough features yet.

  5. #55
    Senior Member JDogger's Avatar
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    Ether= starting fluid.
    I have a couple cans around, never shot 'em with a flaming arrow though.

    I learned long ago that fresh gas, a new spark plug, and a clean air filter would make almost any 2-cycle engine fire. Be it lawn mower, weed-eater, or chain saw.

    Anyway boys, it was just a story I cut and pasted for a laugh. It isn't true you know.

    Engineers....always so....

    JD

    and believe me it doesn't take long to go through a 1lb. can of 1f black powder shooting a 1" bore cannon for noise and effect!
    Last edited by JDogger; 03-31-2009 at 11:04 PM.
    One cannot reason someone out of something they were not reasoned into. - Jonathan Swift

  6. #56
    Senior Member sinner's Avatar
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    Let's see seat belt laws: check this out.http://sz0054.ev.mail.comcast.net/se...47480&part=2.2
    If you are over 50 years of age you might want to look in to fall prevention education.
    Aw, I am just wasting my and your time. I will just make money treating you after you fall. Remember death is cost effective!

  7. #57
    Senior Member gsc's Avatar
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    I remember in Jr. High we used to have dirt ball fights. Yes, some of them had rocks in them. It was all fun and games until one got thrown through the school door and nailed a kid in the head. Trip to the Principal's office.

    They also one time got an old broken down car. It still had windows and all. Gave us sledge hammers and axes and told us to have fun. We spend a lot of pent up energy on that car.

    We would take the spent CO2 cartridges, pop off the cap and stuff them with match heads. Use the angle iron pointed over the roof and light them off! Boy would they fly. They were also reusable if you could find them.

  8. #58
    Senior Member Jay Dufour's Avatar
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    We mental giants found a 2" pipe with a cap on one end....Drop a cherry bomb in then a golf ball !!!!! Bazooka !! I hit a kids bike ( with him on it) And it completely broke the back wheel,rim tire and spokes.kinda glad I missed him............After laughing his butt off, my dad almost beat me to death.He indicated the genius of physics could be put to use in a more productive way......???????

  9. #59
    Senior Member badbullgator's Avatar
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    [quote=gsc;424337]I remember in Jr. High we used to have dirt ball fights. Yes, some of them had rocks in them. It was all fun and games until one got thrown through the school door and nailed a kid in the head. Trip to the Principal's office.

    [quote]



    I did that in 5th grade. I was throwing rocks at the PE rooms door and I guess one of the teachers decided to come out and see what was what. I hit hin right between the eys. No need to wait around I RAN to the principals office.......
    Views and opinions expressed herein by Badbullgator do not necessarily represent the policies or position of RTF. RTF and all of it's subsidiaries can not be held liable for the off centered humor and politically incorrect comments of the author.
    Corey Burke

  10. #60
    Senior Member Matt McKenzie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terry Britton View Post
    I call BS on the last one with the blackpowder.

    We used to pour gunpowder on ant dens, and use firecrackers and their fuses to light the gunpowder. It would just fizzle up. It won't blow up without some kind of containment to allow the pressure to build up.
    FWIW, smokeless powder and black powder behave very differently when ignited while not enclosed in a container. If enclosed when ignited, they behave very similarly. That doesn't necessarily lend credence to the story, but just I needed to pick that nit.
    Matt McKenzie

    "Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it." Henry Ford

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