here's what we will be examining. Take notes. Testing will begin shortly.
And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of
The land called America , having lost their morals, their initiative,
And their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as "The One".
He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He
Hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you. My lack of
Experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association
With evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with Hope and
Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who
Preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has
Built must be destroyed." And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew
Not what "The One" would do, he had promised that it was good; and they
And "The One" said "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me
Change everything about it!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"
Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats."
And the people said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth." And
The people said, "Show us the money!"
And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody"
And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my
Money and give it to the deadbeats??"
And "The One" ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were
Hacked and publicized.
One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was banished
From the kingdom!
Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and
Having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical
Terrorists?" And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk
With them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that
They ever wanted to kill us all!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our
Weapons into free cars for the people!"
Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And
One, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes." So "The One"
Said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!" And the
People said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!"
Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you
Sell your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing market
Collapsed. And He said, "I shall mandate employer- funded health care for
EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person
Unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the clinics." And
The people said, "Give me some of that!"
Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs
Overseas." And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"
Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and
Electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is
Dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part
About higher electric rates." So "The One" said, "Not to worry. If
Your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just
Sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!"
Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted.
Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free
Lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed
Housing..." And the people said, "Hallelujah!!" And they made
And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs
And ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers.
Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like
Unto a rock dropped from a cliff.
The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a
Crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.