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Thread: Thinking it over...

  1. #1
    Senior Member Uncle Bill's Avatar
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    Jan 2003
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    Default Thinking it over...

    ...and able to claim having achieved 6 dozen years of rascally living, I'm ready to re-enlist. I was sent this tidbit of info from a fellow American, and am giving it serious thought. Care to join me?

    UB

    A New Direction for any War: Send Service Vets over 60!


    I am over 60 and the Armed
    Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You
    can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've
    got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending
    18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.
    You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until
    you're at least 35.


    For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex
    every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a
    couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
    additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
    enemy.


    Young guys haven't lived long
    enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous
    soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep,
    I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe
    letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it
    will make us feel better and shut us up for a
    while.


    An 18-year-old doesn't even like
    to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early
    to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm
    tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I
    may as well be up killing some fanatical
    sob....


    If captured we couldn't
    spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.
    In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
    brainteaser.


    Boot camp would be easier for old
    guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at
    and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
    appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years
    as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the
    screaming and yelling.


    They could lighten up on the
    obstacle course however. I've been in combat and
    didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over
    the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing
    basic training.


    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of
    energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a
    bullet.


    An 18-year-old has the whole world
    ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up
    a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
    figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his
    eyes, not the back of his head.


    These are all great reasons to keep
    our kids at home to learn a little more about life before
    sending them off into harm's
    way.


    Let us old guys track down those
    dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy
    would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old
    farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that
    their best years are already behind
    them.


    ***How about recruiting Women over
    50 ...with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!!
    Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!



    If nothing else, put us on border
    patrol......we will have it secured the first
    night!
    When the one you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.

  2. #2
    Senior Member YardleyLabs's Avatar
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    Dec 2006
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    Yardley, PA
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    Default

    I love it. Where do I sign?

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