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Thread: Friday funny gdg

  1. #1
    Senior Member 1st retriever's Avatar
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    Default Friday funny gdg


    What I Want In a Man --
    As Years Go By...

    Original List:


    1. Handsome
    2. Charming
    3. Financially successful
    4. A caring listener
    5. Witty
    6. In good shape
    7. Dresses with style
    8. Appreciates finer things
    9. Full of thoughtful surprises
    10. An imaginative, romantic lover


    What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

    1. Nice looking
    2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
    3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
    4. Listens more than talks
    5. Laughs at my jokes
    6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
    7. Owns at least one tie
    8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
    9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
    10. Seeks romance at least once a week


    What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

    1. Not too ugly
    2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
    3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
    4. Nods head when I'm talking
    5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
    6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
    7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
    8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
    9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
    10. Shaves most weekends


    What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

    1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
    2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
    3. Doesn't borrow money too often
    4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
    5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
    6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
    7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
    8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
    9. Remembers your name on occasion
    10. Shaves some weekends


    What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

    1. Doesn't scare small children
    2. Remembers where bathroom is
    3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
    4. Only snores lightly when asleep
    5. Remembers why he's laughing
    6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
    7. Usually wears some clothes
    8. Likes soft foods
    9. Remembers where he left his teeth
    10. Remembers that it's the weekend

    What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 82)
    1. Breathing.
    2. Doesn't miss the toilet...
    Steph

    Brittany - Border Collie/Springer Spaniel CGC - 03/03/1999 - 12/05/2014 My everything!
    Meka- Basset/Aussie
    Zoe's Taller N Me - Zoe Irish Wolfhound 9/04/2004 - 11/20/2013 I love you Big Girl!
    Ember Raise The Bar CGC - Corona (a fluffy)
    Embers Aint Misbehavin - Flirt (Corona's mini me)


    A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend pees their pants laughing and trips you again!

  2. #2
    Senior Member 1st retriever's Avatar
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    Default

    This was an email I got. Pretty good!
    Steph

    Brittany - Border Collie/Springer Spaniel CGC - 03/03/1999 - 12/05/2014 My everything!
    Meka- Basset/Aussie
    Zoe's Taller N Me - Zoe Irish Wolfhound 9/04/2004 - 11/20/2013 I love you Big Girl!
    Ember Raise The Bar CGC - Corona (a fluffy)
    Embers Aint Misbehavin - Flirt (Corona's mini me)


    A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend pees their pants laughing and trips you again!

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Ok, here are the Man Rules.....


    The Man Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down




    Finally,the guys' side of the story.
    (
    must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear
    "the rules"
    From the female side.



    Now here are the rules from the male side.



    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
    ON PURPOSE!



    1.Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem
    onlyif you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
    other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

    1. Christopher Columbus did
    NOTneed directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
    noidea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it
    willbe scratched..
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine..
    Really

    1.. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or


    motor sports

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.
    RoundIS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


  4. #4
    Senior Member 1st retriever's Avatar
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    Default

    Well for any of you single guys out there I prefer the second set of ways! lol I would rather watch football then go shopping!
    Steph

    Brittany - Border Collie/Springer Spaniel CGC - 03/03/1999 - 12/05/2014 My everything!
    Meka- Basset/Aussie
    Zoe's Taller N Me - Zoe Irish Wolfhound 9/04/2004 - 11/20/2013 I love you Big Girl!
    Ember Raise The Bar CGC - Corona (a fluffy)
    Embers Aint Misbehavin - Flirt (Corona's mini me)


    A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend pees their pants laughing and trips you again!

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