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Thread: On the Light Side ... Political Jokes

  1. #11
    Senior Member Gerry Clinchy's Avatar
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    The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too
    qualified for the job.

    The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this; have you had any
    actual experience in picking lemons?"

    "Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied.

    "I've been divorced three times and I voted for Obama."
    G.Clinchy@gmail.com
    "Know in your heart that all things are possible. We couldn't conceive of a miracle if none ever happened." -Libby Fudim

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  2. #12
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    Self Portrait


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    Best Temperature For Extreme Q
    Last edited by ducknwork; 04-21-2011 at 06:19 PM.

  3. #13
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    "In competing speeches today, President Obama said the U.S. went off course with practices like waterboarding. Cheney retaliated by saying he doesn't regret any of the decisions he made, and if he had to do it all over again, he would order President Bush to do exactly the same thing.


    How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?
    1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;
    2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;
    3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;
    4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;
    5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;
    6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;
    7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark;
    8. One to viciously smear #7;
    9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;
    10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Evan's Avatar
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    A headline in the NEWS!

    President Barrack Obama watched a college football game this weekend, and has been awarded the Heisman Trophy! Hurrah!!!

    Evan
    "Prepare your dog in such a manner that the work he is normally called upon to do under-whelms him, not overwhelms him." ~ Evan Graham

    “People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”

    ― George Bernard Shaw


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  5. #15
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    sorry double post
    Last edited by Roger Perry; 10-26-2009 at 09:38 AM.

  6. #16
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    See if you can out shoot Cheney on a quail hunt.


    http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/o...ngtonpost.com/

  7. #17
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    Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, ?Let?s talk. I?ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.?

    The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, ?What would you like to talk about??

    ?Oh, I don?t know,? said the Obama. ?How about What Changes I Should Make To America?? and he smiles.

    ?OK,? she says. ?That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff ? grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is??

    Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl?s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, ?Hmmm, I have no idea.?

    To which the little girl replies, ?Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don?t know sh*t??
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    Last edited by ducknwork; 04-21-2011 at 06:20 PM.

  8. #18
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    Bush Presidential Library

    There's a show on C-SPAN about presidential libraries. Here're what the draft plans for the George W. Bush Library now call for:

    The Alberto Gonzales Room - Where you can't remember any of the exhibits.

    The Hurricane Katrina Room - It's still under construction.

    The Texas Air National Guard Room - Where you don't have to even show up.

    The Walter Reed Hospital Room - Where they don't let you in.

    The Guantanamo Bay Room - Where they don't let you out.

    The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room - Nobody has been able to find it.

    The War in Iraq Room - After you complete your first tour, they can force you to go back for your second and third and fourth and fifth tours.

    The K-Street Project Gift Shop - Where you can buy an election, or, if no one cares, steal one.

    The Men's Room - Where you could meet a Republican Senator (or two).

    To be fair, the President has done some good things, and so the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate them.

    When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Gerry Clinchy's Avatar
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    Someone mentioned today, there was some benefit to the Cash For Clunkers program. It got a lot of Obama bumper stickers off the road.
    G.Clinchy@gmail.com
    "Know in your heart that all things are possible. We couldn't conceive of a miracle if none ever happened." -Libby Fudim

    ​I don't use the PM feature, so just email me direct at the address shown above.

  10. #20
    Senior Member YardleyLabs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerry Clinchy View Post
    Someone mentioned today, there was some benefit to the Cash For Clunkers program. It got a lot of Obama bumper stickers off the road.

    ................

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