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Thread: Since I've been admonished to go....

  1. #1
    Senior Member Uncle Bill's Avatar
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    Default Since I've been admonished to go....

    ...hunting, I'm heading out again. But before I leave, I want to get another political joke thread started. The other one just seemed to dwindle away.

    Here's one I've always loved. You can re-do it to implicate your favorite ignoramus in Washington, but this is one of mine.

    UB



    A Texas Congresswoman was seated next to a little girl on the airplane leaving from Houston when she turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'


    The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the total stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'


    'Oh, I don't know,' said the southern Congresswoman. 'How about global warming or universal health care', and she smiles smugly.


    OK, ' she said. 'Those could be interesting topics. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'


    The southern legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'


    To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming or universal health care when you don't know $hit?
    When the one you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Default

    Not political, but I got this in my email today. I thought it was pretty funny...

    A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

    Naturally, the Doctor asked him, 'What happened to YOU?'

    'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my girlfriend, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle.
    We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.'

    'I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my girlfriend's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's fanny.

    Still holding up the cow's tail, I yelled to my girlfriend, 'Hey, this looks like yours!''

    'I don't remember much after that'

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