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Thread: An old joke and current events, Mrs. Woods.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Ken Bora's Avatar
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    Smile An old joke and current events, Mrs. Woods.

    An old joke and current events, Mrs. Woods.

    First the joke

    A Texas Billionaire was flying first class to NYC. He asked one of the flight attendants if she would spend the weekend with him in the hotel room for a million dollars. “Of course I would Sugar” she purred while making sure his tray table was in the Upright and locked position. “Well then, how about for Fifty Dollars?” The stewardess jumped off his lap, slapped him in the face and loudly exclaimed “What kind of girl do you think I am anyway?!”
    Unruffled the old oilman replied, “Well we already determined that, now we are just haggling over the price.”


    Now the current events


    Mrs. Tiger Woods gets a Re-nup (renegotiated prenuptial agreement) and 5 mill ca$h if she stays.


    Am I the only one that sees the similarity?

    .
    "So what is big is not always the Trout nor the Deer but the chance, the being there. And what is full is not necessarily the creel nor the freezer, but the memory." ~ Aldo Leopold

    "The Greatest Obstacle to Discovery is not Ignorance -- It is the Illusion of Knowledge" ~ Daniel Boorstin

  2. #2
    Senior Member K G's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Bora View Post

    Am I the only one that sees the similarity?


    .
    No, Ken....no you're not....

    Money changes everything (makes some transgressions a LOT more tolerable) regards,

    kg
    I keep my PM box full. Use email to contact me: rockytopkg@aol.com.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Steve Amrein's Avatar
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    Got this by e-mail so I will only take credit for passing on....

    Tiger Woods is so rich that
    he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

    What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
    Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

    Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but
    he's still below par.

    What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the
    morning?
    They went clubbing

    Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He
    couldnt decide between a wood and an iron.

    Tiger Woods has been dropped by Gillette after admitting
    this incident was his closest shave ever....

    This scandal shall now be referred to as Puttergate

    Tiger Woods apparantly is giving up pro golf. He was
    rumoured saying 'My putting is still good, but I keep
    driving into the trees.

    "Tiger's got a great Caddy, but it's not
    enough to get him out of the rough on this one."

    Why did Elin Woods use the 9 iron to bust out the
    rear window?
    Because she doesn't like the driver.

    What club did Elin use to 'rescue' her husband? A
    bitching wedge.

    ...and for the win...

    What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals?

    wait for it.......







    They both get clubbed by Norwegians.
    "Communism only works in Heaven, where they don't need it, and in Hell, where they already have it" Ronald Reagan

  4. #4
    Senior Member Julie R.'s Avatar
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    HAHAHA those are great. I heard on a talk radio station that the tally of Tiger Woods' trysts who've gone public is now up to 9 women. Wonder if he'll have to negotiate a Re-Re-Nup?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Goose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie R. View Post
    HAHAHA those are great. I heard on a talk radio station that the tally of Tiger Woods' trysts who've gone public is now up to 9 women. Wonder if he'll have to negotiate a Re-Re-Nup?
    I think we're up to about 12 now. Who knows anymore but the dude does get around Someone should make a holiday song about Tiger's 12 women!

    Like Tiger's women, this is the story that keeps on giving. Naughty texts, panicky voice mails, pictures in Playgirl, red panties with black lace, divorce, re-re-nup, payoffs, Gloria Allred, stretchers leaving his house in the middle of the night...on and on and on!

    When will Tiger play (golf) again?

  6. #6
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    Orange County Fire and Rescue responded to a call at Tiger Woods' home around 2:30 Tuesday morning, according to several reports out of Orlando.

    An unidentified blonde woman was transported by ambulance to a nearby hospital, according to the reports. According to Orlando's WESH, the adult woman initially refused transport, then was rushed to the hospital "on advanced life support."

  7. #7
    Senior Member Julie R.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goose View Post
    I think we're up to about 12 now. Who knows anymore but the dude does get around Someone should make a holiday song about Tiger's 12 women!

    Like Tiger's women, this is the story that keeps on giving. Naughty texts, panicky voice mails, pictures in Playgirl, red panties with black lace, divorce, re-re-nup, payoffs, Gloria Allred, stretchers leaving his house in the middle of the night...on and on and on!

    When will Tiger play (golf) again?
    Well look at Kobe, rapist NBA player, he seems to be doing just fine Tiger will no doubt be shedding the pretty blond wife/family image so he might as well go gangster and start bragging about all his bitches, seems to work for other sports superstars!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Goose's Avatar
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    Ok, a little trivia. Who said the following?

    "I don't see all this lovemaking as any kind of conquest: all I'm saying is that I like women, people are curious about my sex life, and to most people the number of women who have come and gone through my bedrooms (and various hotel rooms around the country) would boggle the mind. At my age that equals out to having sex with 1.2 women a day, every day since I was fifteen years old."

    Tiger will never catch this dude...I don't think!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Rudd's Avatar
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    Wilt Chamberlain?

    I don't know why these young, rich athletes/actors with such a high public profile think marriage is a good idea.

  10. #10
    Senior Member BrianW's Avatar
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    Wilt Chamberlain
    "It's not that government is inherently stupid, although that's a debatable question."
    Rand Paul CPAC speech 2011

    I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. Thomas Jefferson to Archibald Stuart, 1791
    ________________________________________
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