...I made it. But not everyone was so lucky. The economy was so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. <> I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" <> CEO's are now playing miniature golf. <> If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them. <> Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. <> Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning the names of their children. <> A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. <> Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. <> Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. <> The Mafia is laying off judges. <> BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen. <> Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear! <> And, finally, I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Expecting better in 2011? Not me, but I hope I can still joke about it.