Last night some friends and I killed a skunk ape/bigfoot in the Everglades. After a well coordinated effort and prolonged fight we captured and killed, I mean just killed…yeah just killed the beast. It was regretful that he had to be killed but the beast was armed with a weapon and we had no choice…oh wait….ummm, ok well it was not armed but the female bigfoot was…oh no she was not either, but she did come at us so we shot her in the leg. Now of course we know that finding conclusive proof that skunk apes/bigfoot’s exist is a big deal, so we took some DNA samples and pictures before, in keeping with skunk ape tradition we dumped it in the Gulf of Mexico. What? You would like to see the pictures……? Um, well, um…..no that would not be a good idea because bigfoot’s around the world (Yeti’s bigfoot’s, skunk apes…) would be enraged and cause problems for all of us. You want the DNA evidence? Um, well, OK….give me a few minutes to type up a lab report…I mean let me get a piece of paper that says it was done. See right there on top of the report it is from a lab so you know we could not make this up. Come on guys I said I killed a skunk ape, I have pictures and proof isn’t that enough? How dare you question me…..