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Thread: Why don't people listen?????

  1. #21
    Senior Member luvalab's Avatar
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    I think it's worse when they DO listen!

    A good friend at work was poised to buy an inexpensive golden for her daughter, from a dicey operation, no clearances, the sire was barely a year old, and the bitch wasn't much older and on her second litter.

    As an example of what to look for, I showed her a flat-coat friend's litter listing, clearances and titles and pedigrees and every bell and whistle. Before I knew it, my friend decided she had to have the pricey flat-coat well above her (my, many folks')pay grade. Her daughter chipped in her birthday money and literally broke her piggy bank and rolled the quarters.

    I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, worried about that dog!
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  2. #22
    Senior Member Jen Marenich's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msdaisey View Post
    At work and in the community, I am the go-to 'dog lady' who answers any and all questions canine. People will ask for litter suggestions, vet recommendations, etc. While I have no problem helping and pointing them in the right direction, I get very irritated when they don't listen and wind up with a dysplastic puppy or some other god-awful problem. I know I am not alone in this - thanks for letting me rant!!!!

    This rant brought to you courtesy of a friend who bought a golden puppy out of a 'fair' hipped bitch, and a sire with no OFA, whose vet told her "it didn't matter if she wasn't going to show the dog."


    Barf . . . .
    Oh I hear you... I get the same all the time...

  3. #23
    Senior Member Jen Marenich's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    Conversely, people often appear to earnestly seek advice, when all they're really looking for is someone to reaffirm what they have already decided to do.

    Evan
    Yep. and usually what you recommend is not what they were planning anyway...

  4. #24
    Senior Member duk4me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msdaisey View Post
    At work and in the community, I am the go-to 'dog lady' who answers any and all questions canine. People will ask for litter suggestions, vet recommendations, etc. While I have no problem helping and pointing them in the right direction, I get very irritated when they don't listen and wind up with a dysplastic puppy or some other god-awful problem. I know I am not alone in this - thanks for letting me rant!!!!

    This rant brought to you courtesy of a friend who bought a golden puppy out of a 'fair' hipped bitch, and a sire with no OFA, whose vet told her "it didn't matter if she wasn't going to show the dog."


    Barf . . . .
    I would listen to you if I needed a driver.
    I have learned I need these dogs much more than they need me. Tim Bockmon

  5. #25
    Senior Member KwickLabs's Avatar
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    When you get old and crusty you acquire and edge.

    Here is a simple, blunt start to helping someone. Tell them to put one finger in an ear. They will ask, “Why?” You will then tell them, “So that what I say doesn't go in one and out the other.” The second phase requires asking repeatedly “Do you really want to know?” If they persist, then it might be worth the effort.

    This is why people are unable to take advice...the art of listening is a skill and the concept of acquiring a vested interest is “missing in action”. If a person is not getting good results, they must change. Most are unwilling or unable to switch gears.

    One should realize that if you truly need or want to help someone it cannot be a momentary nuisance. Help is really a two-way street often measured in miles. “This is what you should do” often provides nothing more than a quick exit. Singular advice left untended makes for “gophers” with little direction that can't solve problems. It may become a self-fulfilling, prophetic response.

    Years ago, a pro told me the most frustrating aspect of her job was trying to teach clients to become better handlers and trainers. Change is a difficult process.
    Last edited by KwickLabs; 01-31-2013 at 11:52 PM.
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  6. #26
    Senior Member badbullgator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BonMallari View Post
    I thought you were talking about people on the RTF not listening to advice
    my thought too. Why ask the question if you don't listen to the answer
    Views and opinions expressed herein by Badbullgator do not necessarily represent the policies or position of RTF. RTF and all of it's subsidiaries can not be held liable for the off centered humor and politically incorrect comments of the author.
    Corey Burke

  7. #27
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    I had a meeting yesterday at my office with my long time banker on some new equipment I need for a large project and when we finished talking about financing he was excited to tell me about the fact he was trying to get a golden pup.
    He had found a litter somewhere in the carolina's that the price was 750 but you could bid on the pups like ebay and he had a winning bid at 450, he was excited! So I spent the next 5 minutes explaining every thing I saw wrong with this situation. So I looked on here in the classifieds and tried to send him in the right direction, the pup will have a great home with his family. It just appears to me that most people are so uneducated when it comes to finding their companion for the next 10-15 yrs that they will go on price alone. Here is a guy that can afford to pay whatever but didn't have a clue except the pups had AKC papers. I like the answer earlier insert finger into one ear!
    Chad
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  8. #28
    Senior Member RookieTrainer's Avatar
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    You would almost think the two of you spend all day giving legal advice. Add to this that their coffee shop buddy or some guy on the Internet says it works - or better yet knows somebody who did it this way and never even got questioned.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bill Stoune View Post
    The only thing worse is when someone asks your opinion, then wants to argue with you and tell you you're wrong.
    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    Conversely, people often appear to earnestly seek advice, when all they're really looking for is someone to reaffirm what they have already decided to do.

    Evan

  9. #29
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    A very wise elderly man once told me,

    "Don, there are two things in this world that you will see over and over throughout your entire life. One, in general, people are stupid and two, fifty percent of the people in the world are below average".

    Boy was he right on!

  10. #30
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    When you get old and crusty you acquire and edge.

    Here is a simple, blunt start to helping someone. Tell them to put one finger in an ear. They will ask, “Why?” You will then tell them, “So that what I say doesn't go in one and out the other.” The second phase requires asking repeatedly “Do you really want to know?” If they persist, then it might be worth the effort.

    This is why people are unable to take advice...the art of listening is a skill and the concept of acquiring a vested interest is “missing in action”. If a person is not getting good results, they must change. Most are unwilling or unable to switch gears.

    One should realize that if you truly need or want to help someone it cannot be a momentary nuisance. Help is really a two-way street often measured in miles. “This is what you should do” often provides nothing more than a quick exit. Singular advice left untended makes for “gophers” with little direction that can't solve problems. It may become a self-fulfilling, prophetic response.

    Years ago, a pro told me the most frustrating aspect of her job was trying to teach clients to become better handlers and trainers. Change is a difficult process.
    Jim
    I sure like your insight on so many of these matters. I will bet you were (and I know you still are) one hell of a teacher. Believe it or not Jim ,, with all my private sessions I've done over the years,,,teachers and nurses as a whole or similar vocations,,,learned and applied the knowledge faster than other occupations,, my theory is they learned how to learn and they spent a lot of time giving instruction
    Again I enjoy reading what you write ,,and you communicate it so well.
    Pete
    Last edited by Pete; 02-01-2013 at 07:59 AM.
    John 5 :30
    I can of my own self do nothing ,as I hear , I judge,,and my judgement is just, because I seek not my own will,,but the will of the father which hath sent me
    John 7:16 -- Jesus answered them and said my doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me.
    mark 16:9 -- So then after the lord had spoken unto them,he was received up in heaven, and sat on the right hand of God
    I Tim. 2:5 --For there is one God and one mediator between God and man ,, the man Christ Jesus

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