On a lighter note
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Thread: On a lighter note

  1. #1
    Senior Member Bubba's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    S.W. Washington

    Default On a lighter note

    The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced. "Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

    A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
    He said, "I'm Phil." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want
    to tell my wife the word is sternum."

    A minor detail makes all the difference regards

    There are three classes of people: those who see...those who see when shown...and those who do not see. - Leonardo da Vinci

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  3. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    SW Minnesota


    Thanks Bubba, in that regards,

    One day a man went to see his doctor complaining about severe migraine headaches.

    After a long examination the doctor told the man that somehow his balls were pressing very tightly against the base of his spine and this was causing the man to have migraine headaches. The doctor concluded the balls would have to come off.

    The man thought this was rather drastic, so he went to another doctor for a second opinion.

    "Your balls are pressing up against your spine causing the headaches," said the doctor, "The balls will have to be amputated." Finally the man decided to have the operation. He went to the first doctor and had it done.

    Two years passed and the man was walking down the street when he came across a tailor's shop. Wearing the same thing he had been for years, the man decided to go in and get some new threads. The tailor took one look at the man as he walked in and said,"I'll bet your pants size is 36x32."

    "That's amazing,"said the man,"how on earth did you know?" "I get paid to know these things," replied the tailor.

    After he was fitted in pants the tailor looked at the man and told him exactly what his shirt size was without measuring him once. "That is just too cool! How did you know?" asked the man. "I get paid to know this kind of stuff."

    Pretty soon the tailor had the man decked out in a full 3 piece suit with a rather smart had to go with it all. Not once did the tailor measure the man for his clothes. "I get paid to know these things,"is what he would say.

    After all that the man decided he wanted some new underwear to make him comfortable in his new suit. "I'll bet you wear 36 medium," the tailor said, eyeballing the man. "HA! You're wrong!" said the man, "I wear 34 medium!" "That's ridiculous," replied the tailor,"if you wore size 34 medium underwear, you'd press your balls way too tight against your spine causing severe migraine headaches."

  4. #3
    Senior Member duk4me's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    NE Texas


    I am reporting this thread Bubba how dare you!
    I have learned I need these dogs much more than they need me. Tim Bockmon

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