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Why don't people listen?????

7K views 38 replies 32 participants last post by  hotel4dogs 
#1 ·
At work and in the community, I am the go-to 'dog lady' who answers any and all questions canine. People will ask for litter suggestions, vet recommendations, etc. While I have no problem helping and pointing them in the right direction, I get very irritated when they don't listen and wind up with a dysplastic puppy or some other god-awful problem. I know I am not alone in this - thanks for letting me rant!!!!

This rant brought to you courtesy of a friend who bought a golden puppy out of a 'fair' hipped bitch, and a sire with no OFA, whose vet told her "it didn't matter if she wasn't going to show the dog."


Barf . . . .
 
#4 ·
"Still a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest." ~ Simon & Garfunkel ("The Boxer")

Evan
 
#6 ·
I honestly think part of it is the "free" aspect of the advice.

I think many times folks take it a bit more seriously if they have some "skin in the game".

When it's "free", they don't put much value on it.

Sondra, I'm not suggesting you start charging for the advice. I'm just of the opinion (because the same stuff has happened to me for years) that when giving free dog advice, it generally goes slightly to totally ignored.

It's frustrating...and it can make you a bit cold on wanting to put much effort into the next one.


Chris
 
#8 ·
Along the same lines of Chris and Polmaise....

I've found that people seeking advice generally aren't that knowledgeable about dogs.....

Then when you give them solid advice,,,,,,,,,,,,They find out that what you recommend is not inexpensive.

People can be cheep...

Most don't understand the purchase price is the least of the costs associated with dog ownership,,,,,,,,,,Until it's too late.
 
#11 ·
Conversely, people often appear to earnestly seek advice, when all they're really looking for is someone to reaffirm what they have already decided to do.

Evan
 
#14 ·
Evan Nailed it I think. And you may take this to all walks of life(work, romance, financial, etc...). As a consultant, this is an every day occurance. You learn to let it roll off your back. It is even fun to grin when they come back with a tail of woe. I don't bother with "I told you so's".
The difference is, with your examples, the life (or quality of life) of an animal and/or it's loving family is at stake.
 
#15 ·
Everyone is a dog trainer and even some hang out their pro shingles with minimal experience. I have the same thing even with family members, ask questions, then do whatever they want to do. An old saying, you are a moron in your own town and 20 minutes away you are a expert. Human nature I guess.
 
#17 ·
The ones that annoy me the most are the ones who ask a question, you take the time to then them and answer and the next thing you know they are asking another person the exact same thing. I have no patience with them and the next time they ask my reply is I don't know ask so and so.
 
#18 ·
I think that that many do not think that they need to be so particular BECAUSE they only want a PET. After all you and people like you need something different than just the pet.

Too bad they don't understand that our "performance" dogs are also pets. Too bad they don't understand that encouraging poor breeding practices, often times produces animals who suffer from poor structure, are miserable with allergies, and other problems.
 
#21 ·
I think it's worse when they DO listen!

A good friend at work was poised to buy an inexpensive golden for her daughter, from a dicey operation, no clearances, the sire was barely a year old, and the bitch wasn't much older and on her second litter.

As an example of what to look for, I showed her a flat-coat friend's litter listing, clearances and titles and pedigrees and every bell and whistle. Before I knew it, my friend decided she had to have the pricey flat-coat well above her (my, many folks')pay grade. Her daughter chipped in her birthday money and literally broke her piggy bank and rolled the quarters.

I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, worried about that dog!
 
#22 ·
At work and in the community, I am the go-to 'dog lady' who answers any and all questions canine. People will ask for litter suggestions, vet recommendations, etc. While I have no problem helping and pointing them in the right direction, I get very irritated when they don't listen and wind up with a dysplastic puppy or some other god-awful problem. I know I am not alone in this - thanks for letting me rant!!!!

This rant brought to you courtesy of a friend who bought a golden puppy out of a 'fair' hipped bitch, and a sire with no OFA, whose vet told her "it didn't matter if she wasn't going to show the dog."


Barf . . . .
Oh I hear you... I get the same all the time...
 
#25 · (Edited)
When you get old and crusty you acquire and edge. ;)

Here is a simple, blunt start to helping someone. Tell them to put one finger in an ear. They will ask, “Why?” You will then tell them, “So that what I say doesn't go in one and out the other.” The second phase requires asking repeatedly “Do you really want to know?” If they persist, then it might be worth the effort.

This is why people are unable to take advice...the art of listening is a skill and the concept of acquiring a vested interest is “missing in action”. If a person is not getting good results, they must change. Most are unwilling or unable to switch gears.

One should realize that if you truly need or want to help someone it cannot be a momentary nuisance. Help is really a two-way street often measured in miles. “This is what you should do” often provides nothing more than a quick exit. Singular advice left untended makes for “gophers” with little direction that can't solve problems. It may become a self-fulfilling, prophetic response.

Years ago, a pro told me the most frustrating aspect of her job was trying to teach clients to become better handlers and trainers. Change is a difficult process.
 
#34 ·
When you get old and crusty you acquire and edge. ;)

Here is a simple, blunt start to helping someone. Tell them to put one finger in an ear. They will ask, “Why?” You will then tell them, “So that what I say doesn't go in one and out the other.”
Hey Kuickie thanks for that one, I used it today on a student decoy painter. I forgot you gave it so you didn't get credit, two more uses and it is mine anyway....BSEG!
 
#27 ·
I had a meeting yesterday at my office with my long time banker on some new equipment I need for a large project and when we finished talking about financing he was excited to tell me about the fact he was trying to get a golden pup.
He had found a litter somewhere in the carolina's that the price was 750 but you could bid on the pups like ebay and he had a winning bid at 450, he was excited! So I spent the next 5 minutes explaining every thing I saw wrong with this situation. So I looked on here in the classifieds and tried to send him in the right direction, the pup will have a great home with his family. It just appears to me that most people are so uneducated when it comes to finding their companion for the next 10-15 yrs that they will go on price alone. Here is a guy that can afford to pay whatever but didn't have a clue except the pups had AKC papers. I like the answer earlier insert finger into one ear!
Chad
 
#29 ·
A very wise elderly man once told me,

"Don, there are two things in this world that you will see over and over throughout your entire life. One, in general, people are stupid and two, fifty percent of the people in the world are below average".

Boy was he right on!
 
#30 · (Edited)
When you get old and crusty you acquire and edge. :wink:

Here is a simple, blunt start to helping someone. Tell them to put one finger in an ear. They will ask, “Why?” You will then tell them, “So that what I say doesn't go in one and out the other.” The second phase requires asking repeatedly “Do you really want to know?” If they persist, then it might be worth the effort.

This is why people are unable to take advice...the art of listening is a skill and the concept of acquiring a vested interest is “missing in action”. If a person is not getting good results, they must change. Most are unwilling or unable to switch gears.

One should realize that if you truly need or want to help someone it cannot be a momentary nuisance. Help is really a two-way street often measured in miles. “This is what you should do” often provides nothing more than a quick exit. Singular advice left untended makes for “gophers” with little direction that can't solve problems. It may become a self-fulfilling, prophetic response.

Years ago, a pro told me the most frustrating aspect of her job was trying to teach clients to become better handlers and trainers. Change is a difficult process.
Jim
I sure like your insight on so many of these matters. I will bet you were (and I know you still are) one hell of a teacher. Believe it or not Jim ,, with all my private sessions I've done over the years,,,teachers and nurses as a whole or similar vocations,,,learned and applied the knowledge faster than other occupations,, my theory is they learned how to learn and they spent a lot of time giving instruction
Again I enjoy reading what you write ,,and you communicate it so well.
Pete
 
#31 ·
i requested a dog related consultaion with an individual i did not personally know, but who's credentials i respect. the advise was given to me willingly and at no monetary cost. i listened intently and plan to follow the suggestions i recieved.........probably;-) thanks for the time and wisdom of experience!

this is a good thread. we should all listen, learn and act on what we learn more often.
 
#32 ·
Unfortunately Most people will not learn until they screw up, you can advise thru your experience until your blue in the face, still most people must have the experience, Even if they are hard lessons. Just Human Nature
 
#33 ·
vet told her "it didn't matter if she wasn't going to show the dog."
I encounter this kind of attitude at work all the time. (not about dogs) Some people will just keep asking until they get the answer they WANT to hear.
 
#35 ·
"....she will ask you for advice, your reply will be concise, she will listen very nicely and go out and do precisely what she wants!"
(My Fair Lady)
 
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