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Shayne came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep sleep.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Shayne."

Shayne was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be, I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"

St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back: as a hen mallard."

While a little unsure of the prospect of being a hen, Shayne was excited at the chance to be a duck and begged St. Peter to send him to a pond near his home so he could see his family and torment his hunting partners.

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, quacking, and grazing in a field.

A drake strolled past. "So, you're the new suzie, eh? How's your first day here?"

"Not bad," replied Shayne, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"

"You're ovulating," explained the Drake. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"

"Never," said Shayne. "Well, just relax and let it happen."

Shayne did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Shayne was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.

He soon laid another egg --his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dammit Shayne Wake up. You're Shiating in the bed!"
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