Headed to Nodak Sunday...

Figgered some of youse folks should know what I'm getting into.

UB

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in North Dakota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Fargo sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in North Dakota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in North Dakota gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in North Dakota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in North Dakota have their last cookout.

Zero:
People in Miami all die.
North Dakotans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in North Dakta get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in North Dakta are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in North Dakota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
North Dakotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in North Dakota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
North Dakota public schools will open 2 hours late.