[Losthwy]

A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a Kerry farmer.
The Texan says : "Takes me a whole day to drive from one side of my ranch to the other."
The Kerry farmer says: "Ah sure, I know, sir. We have tractors like that over here too."

 

[1tulip]

You bet. And if you've ever driven around rural Ireland you know they use them like we do Radar in the US. Get behind one of them and you ain't goin' nowhere fast.

 

[Wayne Beck]

Whats Irish, and stays out all night long?
Paddy O Furniture

Couldnt resist.. Sorry

 

[HPL]

Whats Irish, and stays out all night long?
Paddy O Furniture

Couldnt resist.. Sorry

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 

[Losthwy]

"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet."
- Oliver Herford

 

[Todd Caswell]

Irish Baseball


An Irishman moves to the USA and finally attends his first baseball game.

The first batter approached the batters' box, took a few swings and then hits
a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming, "Run, run".

The next batter hits a single and the Irishman listened as the crowd again
cheered, "Run, run". The Irishman enjoyed the game and began screaming with
the fans.

The fifth batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called "Walk"
and the batter started his slow trot to first base. The Irishman stood up
and screamed, "R--r-r-run ye bastard, run!"

The people around him began laughing. Embarrassed, the Irishman sat back
down. A friendly fan noted the man's embarrassment, leaned over and
explained--"He can't run. He's got four balls." The Irishman stood up and
screamed, "Walk with pride, lad!"

 

[Colonel Blimp]

Two Irish friends leave the pub, with their caps on three hairs. One says to other,"'I can't be arsed to walk all the way home." "Me neither but we've not money enough for a cab and sure the last bus has long gone".

"We could steal a bus from the depot." replies his mate. They arrive at the bus depot and one goes in to get a bus while the other keeps a look- out.

After shuffling around for ages, the lookout shouts, "What the **** are you playin' at, have you not found one yet?"

"I can't find a No. 91."

"Oh Jeysus, ye tick sod, ye, just take a No. 14 and we'll walk from the MacDonalds roundabout."

Eug