I was sitting on a bean bag chair, naked, eating Cheetos the other day when Robert Tilton came on TV. He's a televangelist out of Dallas. He looked at me and said, "Are you lonely?" Yeah. "Have you spent half your life in bars pursuing sins of the flesh?" This guy's good! "Are you sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating Cheetos?"... Yes, sir! "Do you have the urge to get up and send me a thousand dollars?" Ha, ha close! I thought he was talking about me there for a second!
The ******* Channel. Heh heh heh heh.larrynogaj said:I never heard of him, but it sounds like I'd enjoy it and my wife wouldn't. Where do I catch his act?
Both of those are genius!!!!!!!Patrick Johndrow said:" Some friends of mine asked me if I wanted to go to a strip club, and I didn't... want to. 'Cause, back me up on this, fellas: once you've seen one woman naked, you... wanna see the rest of 'em naked."
"One time I was watching a shootout live on CNN, and it went on so long that eventually the criminal shot himself. And the cops are complaining by saying, "He's got on body armor, he's got on body armor." And I thinking, "I can see his head. Shoot him in the [email protected]#%in' head."