[Roger Perry]

This something my sister sent me: Advice to Men.

WORDS WOMEN USE
>
> 1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
>right, and you need to shut up.
>
> 2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour.
>Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
>minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
>
> 3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means
>something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with
>nothing usually end in fine (see #1).
>
> 4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
>
> 5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement
>often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
>and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
>about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
>
> 6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
>can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard
>before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
>
> 7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. Just
>say you're welcome.
>
> 8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "%@&* YOU!"
>
> 9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
>meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times,
>but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking
>"what's wrong" - for the woman's response refer to #3.
>
"Diapers and politicians need to be changed.....for the same reason!"

 

[blind ambition]

Tell you what, I'll swap spouses with you. While I can concur with many of the statement presented there are a few that differ sufficiently make life just a little more treacherous.

1) Fine means she knows she is wrong but just hasn't decided quite how she going to punish you for highlighting the fact....for gods sake don't gloat.

2) If you are watching a game, five minutes will mean 1 minute and if you don't switch off in 30 seconds...you'll pay!

3) Nothing means I'm not going to start telling you how you've messed up...until I've lined up a really good punishment

4), 5), 6) OK

7) Just say "you're welcome"!!!!! Around here that rolls us back to #3 and then it's all down hill from there matey! When she says thanks this is when you buy the flowers, take her shopping etc., etc., and please please remember to burn this moment into your memory forever because a) it may never happen again, or b) if you ever forget she said it...return to #3 and start over!

 

[Troopers Mom]

To you guys who have read this........

I would say that this is probably one of the best studies you can do to get a better understanding and remove the obstacles of communication in your relationships. I have to admit that I have never felt I fell into any of the generalizations about women, but this one really caught my attention.

And #2 - FIVE MINUTES .... really means TWO MINUTES.

Arleen

 

[ducksoup]

Read this to the girlfriend -- she liked it -- but I know I'm in trouble for something -- I know I heard her say "Nothing"