Pals-2 Stupid Beaver-0
The beaver that has plugged up the ditch that drains Ryder's 13 acre wetland on our farm is pretty ticked off right now.
Yesterday I spent the day plotting and planning. How to get rid of beaver dam without a back hoe?? I have to get this wetland structure draining now--my contractor is scheduled to come in two weeks and the bottom needs to dry out. I am having more mounds built and some areas deepened up a bit. So the BEAVER dam has got to go!!! I've made big plans to destroy the damn dam. I even checked the farmers bible: The Farmers Almanac....it didn't say anything about NOT tearing up a beaver dam. So as far as I'm concerned that's all the permission I need.
I was outside in our shed collecting chains, toe straps, pick ax, ax, shovels, diesel, spare 4 wheeler tire(it looks old!), road flares, and the crossbow. When the hubby snuck up on me! Hubby- "What are you doing?" Me-"um, cleaning?" He didn't buy it. So I told him "Not to worry I have everything under control, do we have a rocket launcher?" It's taken approximately 19 years, but he is catching on and after much hollering and hand gestures, he made me put everything back. He promised that "we" would go to the farm first thing in the morning and work on the damn dam together. Quite frankly I don't see this ending any better then my original plan, but whatever.
So this morning I took care of the dogs at O5:30 and woke Bart up. Actually he woke up because I was hauling the shotguns out of the closet and looking for shells. He asked me if I was going water buffalo hunting with 3 guns, isn't he funny in the morning? He told me I was NOT taking any guns to the farm. Can you believe it? What about RABID BEAVERS??! What happens if I get between momma beaver and her beaverettes? I could be knawed alive! Judging by the look on hubby's face at this point, I think he wants me to be eaten by rabid beavers. I'm changing my life insurance benificary to Ryder after this weekend. So I put the guns back with much grumbling, and did not tell him about the 9mm in my truck. HA! Take that mr. poopypants. Outside we went to load up the truck, when he informs me that we are taking his truck. WHAT!!! It's a rice burner! How can we tear out the dam with that thing?? (and how am I gonna get the package out of my truck into his without being spotted?) He informs me that we are not hooking up anything to the dam, we are not setting it on fire and we are not blowing it up. Sheesh, I NEVER get to have any fun! He hands me a rake. A RAKE! Then he puts the chainsaw in the truck, all the while watching me like a hawk. I pouted all the way over to the farm. I'm envisioning myself being attacked by a beaver and trying to bean it with a rake. I would be better off with a match and hairspray. Stupid beaver.
We arrived at the farm and I unloaded the chainsaw. B-"Put that down." N-"Why?" B-"You don't know how to use it." N-"That's never stopped me before!! I'm a quick learner." B-"Remeber my former lawn mower?" N-"NOT MY FAULT! Who has trees in the middle of the yard like us??" B-"You ripped the mowing deck off and ran over every pile of dog poo you saw." N-
It was awesome.
So I went into the woods with the rake. Bart started at the bottom of the dam, and began sawing. We yanked sticks and mud out, worked our way right through the middle of the dam. I wandered off a few times and even found the beaver lodge/home, sadly since I was UNARMED all I could do was take a picture and run like hell when I heard a noise.
The water that raced through the beaver dam breach was totally cool. We had about 5 feet in elevation difference and dropped almost 2 feet in about 30 minutes. The wetland is now draining and we discovered muskrats on the back side of the berm next to the pipe. Rotten muskrats!! They are next on my list, but this time I'm waiting until Bart goes on one of his out of state hunting trips to get rid of the rats. In the meantime I'm going to get a rocket launcher.
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The beaver that has plugged up the ditch that drains Ryder's 13 acre wetland on our farm is pretty ticked off right now.
Yesterday I spent the day plotting and planning. How to get rid of beaver dam without a back hoe?? I have to get this wetland structure draining now--my contractor is scheduled to come in two weeks and the bottom needs to dry out. I am having more mounds built and some areas deepened up a bit. So the BEAVER dam has got to go!!! I've made big plans to destroy the damn dam. I even checked the farmers bible: The Farmers Almanac....it didn't say anything about NOT tearing up a beaver dam. So as far as I'm concerned that's all the permission I need.
I was outside in our shed collecting chains, toe straps, pick ax, ax, shovels, diesel, spare 4 wheeler tire(it looks old!), road flares, and the crossbow. When the hubby snuck up on me! Hubby- "What are you doing?" Me-"um, cleaning?" He didn't buy it. So I told him "Not to worry I have everything under control, do we have a rocket launcher?" It's taken approximately 19 years, but he is catching on and after much hollering and hand gestures, he made me put everything back. He promised that "we" would go to the farm first thing in the morning and work on the damn dam together. Quite frankly I don't see this ending any better then my original plan, but whatever.
So this morning I took care of the dogs at O5:30 and woke Bart up. Actually he woke up because I was hauling the shotguns out of the closet and looking for shells. He asked me if I was going water buffalo hunting with 3 guns, isn't he funny in the morning? He told me I was NOT taking any guns to the farm. Can you believe it? What about RABID BEAVERS??! What happens if I get between momma beaver and her beaverettes? I could be knawed alive! Judging by the look on hubby's face at this point, I think he wants me to be eaten by rabid beavers. I'm changing my life insurance benificary to Ryder after this weekend. So I put the guns back with much grumbling, and did not tell him about the 9mm in my truck. HA! Take that mr. poopypants. Outside we went to load up the truck, when he informs me that we are taking his truck. WHAT!!! It's a rice burner! How can we tear out the dam with that thing?? (and how am I gonna get the package out of my truck into his without being spotted?) He informs me that we are not hooking up anything to the dam, we are not setting it on fire and we are not blowing it up. Sheesh, I NEVER get to have any fun! He hands me a rake. A RAKE! Then he puts the chainsaw in the truck, all the while watching me like a hawk. I pouted all the way over to the farm. I'm envisioning myself being attacked by a beaver and trying to bean it with a rake. I would be better off with a match and hairspray. Stupid beaver.
We arrived at the farm and I unloaded the chainsaw. B-"Put that down." N-"Why?" B-"You don't know how to use it." N-"That's never stopped me before!! I'm a quick learner." B-"Remeber my former lawn mower?" N-"NOT MY FAULT! Who has trees in the middle of the yard like us??" B-"You ripped the mowing deck off and ran over every pile of dog poo you saw." N-
It was awesome. So I went into the woods with the rake. Bart started at the bottom of the dam, and began sawing. We yanked sticks and mud out, worked our way right through the middle of the dam. I wandered off a few times and even found the beaver lodge/home, sadly since I was UNARMED all I could do was take a picture and run like hell when I heard a noise.
The water that raced through the beaver dam breach was totally cool. We had about 5 feet in elevation difference and dropped almost 2 feet in about 30 minutes. The wetland is now draining and we discovered muskrats on the back side of the berm next to the pipe. Rotten muskrats!! They are next on my list, but this time I'm waiting until Bart goes on one of his out of state hunting trips to get rid of the rats. In the meantime I'm going to get a rocket launcher.
