[Gun_Dog2002]

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, RTF is for lovers, yes Fallon even you too.....


/Paul

 

[ErinsEdge]

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
The Retriever Training Forum is for those that run their dogs in events,
And for posers that just talk about running too.

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Michael Baker on The Retriever Training Forum sounds like a nice guy
But I want the Gooser back too.

 

[Happy Gilmore]

Roses are red and labs are never silver or blue.
Beavers are hairy and dogs seat on ducks too.
I like maple syrup but forget to send money,
Bora say's sorry, "no free milk and honey".
Labs don't point but, some say they do.
I think it is silly and most others do too.

Maybe I'll win syrup, maybe I don't,
Hard to work in Bubba so, "Regards", I won't.

I like RTF because of silly stuff like this, and all the squabbling on this internet abyss.

 

[Vammy]

My dog run had sat empty
For almost a year
I'd had trouble even looking at it
Without shedding a tear

See it used to house a dawg
A yellow lab, a boy
Who made our hunting adventures
My ultimate joy

He came to me from Oregon
On a jet he was flown
Through Atlanta, then Omaha
To his new home

But his flights were delayed
In that crate he sat
For 12 long hours
And he had to crap!

At the airport, baggage claim
I expected him there
He was nowhere to be found
But wait, what's that I hear?

A puppy! Screaming!
At the top of his lungs
At the cargo desk a surly agent
Who didn't like pup's song

I got that pup out of there
So he could go poop
Right on the airport sidewalk
And piddle too, a huge pile of goop

That was our beginning
My new pup and me
With dreams to hunt pheasants
How we do, we will see

His name was Chase
He was a bit of a fire breather
And inside the house
He was an absolute heathen

This dog was different
From the ones I'd had before
A real retrieving machine
He always wanted more

I was in over my head
So off to the trainer we go
This guy had the goods
He was definitely in the know

So we learned our lessons
New knowledge we did get
Force fetch and e-collar
And sit means freakin sit!

In the pheasant field Chase excelled
That dog could quarter ground
In his quest to flush roosters
Every one that he found

That dawg didn't know quit
No matter the cover
He busted through it all
There were birds in there, brother!

Our time in the field
Made a ton of memories
Sometimes just Chase and I
Sometimes with our huntin' buddies

We actually got spoiled
We took crazy, long shots
Cuz' if a cripple hit the ground,
Well, just another bird that Chase got

As he got older
He could come in the house
He liked laying by the fire
Quiet as a mouse

Still, the day it was over
Took me by surprise
I know he was 12 and all,
But he was so full of life

A tumor it was
Deep inside, full of blood
Then something tore
And started a flood

It was over in minutes
His head laid in my lap
We said our good byes quickly
And then...Chase passed

NO! I cried out
It can't be your time
We're booked to hunt pheasants
You still have birds to find

I cried like a baby
I couldn't be consoled
But Chase had gone to Pheasant Heaven
Where he'll never be old.

So the kennel had been empty
For almost a year
That crisp December night
I sat on the deck with a beer

I had returned from South Dakota
Our annnual hunting trip
Without Chase this time
And I was upset

We had dropped plenty of roosters
But man, what heavy cover
We only found half of them
Why shoot? Why even bother?

As I looked at the empy kennel
I knew the solution
It was finally time for a new dawg
To make his (or her) contribution

This dawg would not replace Chase
No, we'd be a new team
We'd train hard, log hours
To fulfill new dreams

So I started the search
First, Chase's breeder
Then I found this web site
And became an avid reader

This site had dog people!
Field trialers and hunt testers
People with hunting dawgs
A real cast of characters

Through the forums I read
Absorbing it all
New techniques were available
This was gonna be a ball!

The classified section
Had overwhelming litters of pups
So I researched studs and bitches
And I called breeders up

Finally I called this one breeder
Grady x Kona
Outstanding parents
And he's in Oklahoma!

So there's a new dawg in the kennel
My new pride and joy
A black one, named Koda
And yeah, he's a boy

So I'm really really glad
That night I called Rich up
You see, The Retriever Training Forum is
Where I found my new pup!

 

[Bud]

The Retriever Training Forum "IS"

NO Further explanation needed....

 

[Deleted On Request]

The Retriever Training Forum "IS"

NO Further explanation needed....

Kinda a Zen thing, eh?

 

[Lady Duck Hunter]

The Retriever Trainin Forum is....

The place where you can read post #84 and know exactly how he felt because you've been there, too.

The Retriever Training Forum is....

The place that you go when you have heard a rumor and want to see who else has heard the same things.

The Retriever Training Forum is....

The place that, over time, you develop friendships even though you've never met because you get to know how someone thinks.

Thank you, Chris for keeping The Retriever Training Forum a good place to hang out!

 

[bbransta]

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a beautiful Princess and her three Retrievers, Blackie, Goldie and Brownie. The Princess was not only beautiful, she was kind and good, but she was not a great dog trainer. Blackie wouldn't stop on a whistle, Goldie had trouble with walk-ups and Brownie would only retrieve a duck which fell at his feet. Princess was very sad.

One day as she was cleaning the food dishes, she gazed deep into the stainless steel and saw a wonderful place reflected there. There were people--men/women, young/old, northerners/southerns, rich/less rich--all kinds of people. There were dogs--Labradors, Goldens, Chessies, Tollers, Boykins--even a pit bull. The people and dogs were running field trials and hunt tests and were hunting ducks and pheasants together. Everyone looked like they knew what they were doing and were having fun doing it. There was a lot of laughter, a lot of beer and a lot of good times.

"Oh," said the Princess. "What is this place? I wish I could go there" and turning around she saw an old battered pickup truck stop at her castle door and a grizzled old man emerged. He was short and bald with boots as mud-caked as his truck which had an ancient airline crate roped down in the back. "Who are you?" asked Princess.

"I am The Old Dog Trainer," the old man answered, "here to grant you three wishes." Pulling a bottle out of his pocket, he offered it to her, saying "Drink of the Magical Maple Elixir and look deep into the magic dish. What do you see?"

The Princess drank the elixir and gazed into the dish. "I see Blackie, he's stopping when I blow the whistle, he's taking my casts, I hear the callbacks for the 10th series of the National and Blackie's number is there."

"Take another drink", said The Old Dog Trainer. "What do you see now?" "I see Goldie, she's at my side--oh no, we have to do a walk-up under the new rules! Wait, we're walking, there goes the bird, Goldie sits immediately and doesn't move till I send her. She's qualified for the Master National!"

"Drink once more, what do you see now?" "I see ducks coming in, I'm taking a shot . . . it's fallen on the other side of the marsh. Guess that one's lost. Wait, there goes Brownie, he's breaking ice, he's running down the cripple, he's got the bird. Good dog!"

The Princess was very excited at the visions she'd seen. "Where is this place?" she asked. "Can I go there?"

Said The Old Dog Trainer, "This place is called RTF-land and you can go there if you can answer these three questions. 'Are you willing to work hard?' "Are you willing to listen to those who know more than you do and offer you assistance?' 'Are you willing to be civil and respectful to other inhabitants of RFT-land?' "

"Yes," cried the Princess. "Yes, yes, yes!" She was so excited she threw her arms around his neck and kissed his grizzled cheek. Instantly The Old Dog Trainer was gone and his his place stoof The Young Dog Trainer. He was tall with thick brown hair, twinkling blue eyes and abs like Arnold in his prime. He held out his hand to Princess and as they turned, she saw that the battered pick-up was gone too, replaced by a shiny new dog truck, gleaming with six dog boxes and compartments for everything, including The Magical Maple Elixir on tap. So they loaded up Blackie, Goldie and Browning, climbed into the leather-seated cab and drove off into the sunset.

And they are living there happily ever after to this very day because, of course, Retriever Training Forum is a fairy tale. Or is it?
______________
Barb Branstad

 

[Bridget Bodine]

Can somebody send me an Old Dog Trainer....?;-)

 

[Marvin S]

There is a family named Bora
that makes a product from flora.
a blend so sweet
on pancakes a treat,
Where else but Retriever Training forum is it possible to meet?

 

[Vicky Trainor]

" The Retriever Training Forum is" a pleasure some days;
A place for tears on others.

But " The Retriever Training Forum is" the place to come
for help, advice, friendship and fun.

Disclaimer: I am neither an artist nor a writer as is very evident. Just didn't want to not support Ken in this endeavor!

 

[Renee P.]

Vicky I think you are missing a word.

 

[Deleted On Request]

Vicky I think you are missing a word.

No, I think she's missing the word....

 

[FOM]

The Retriever Training Forum is "a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma."

 

[BBnumber1]

The Retriever Training Forum is.
It is Not. Is so. Is not. Whos program says it is?
Did you Force it to be? Do you use an Ecollar on your forums?
Did you get a breeders guarantee with your membership?
What does RTF stand for? How many forums have you read?
Do you even know what "is" is?

 

[BJGatley]

Here goes...

The Retriever Training Forum is a collection of wealth for those in need to see and it is free.
The Retriever Training Forum shares a common belief to help fellow dog people in their grief.

 

[Renee P.]

No, I think she's missing the word....

Maybe we should report her post to the mods. :razz::razz::razz:

 

[Steve Dannaway]

Just for you, Ken.


Listen my members and you'll hear spun
the story of RTF and Chris Atkinson.
On the fourth of July, back in 2007,
Because Chris ran a purge and sent everything else to Heaven
From poster "Hidden Valley" to all the way up to "mitty"
The conversions were clear and sometimes quite snitty.

One said to board, "British labs are much better"
Another would add, "dog foods should be wetter."
And through all of the disputes the mods stood tall
And refrained from the battle cry, "Let's just ban them all."

There in back the admin just smiled
and knew his wordsmithing would be the right style.
But quickly he realize what other poets had learned,
There's no word that rhymes with syrup.

 

[M&K's Retrievers]

Just for you, Ken.


Listen my members and you'll hear spun
the story of RTF and Chris Atkinson.
On the fourth of July, back in 2007,
Because Chris ran a purge and sent everything else to Heaven
From poster "Hidden Valley" to all the way up to "mitty"
The conversions were clear and sometimes quite snitty.

One said to board, "British labs are much better"
Another would add, "dog foods should be wetter."
And through all of the disputes the mods stood tall
And refrained from the battle cry, "Let's just ban them all."

There in back the admin just smiled
and knew his wordsmithing would be the right style.
But quickly he realize what other poets had learned,
There's no word that rhymes with syrup.

Stirrup comes to mind.

 

[Steve Dannaway]

Stirrup comes to mind.

the final line was originally

"There's no word that rhymes with syrup (except for stirrup)"

but the pacing was wrong.