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Stupid Beaver!!!! I'm SERIOUS!!

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20K views 67 replies 38 participants last post by  Irishwhistler  
#1 ·
Oh the joys of owning large bodies of water..........two weeks ago we pulled the plug on the wetland structure to drain it dry to allow for some improvements. I thought something looked "off" with the drainage ditch....as in it had too much water in it. My hope was that I had enough head pressure to blow whatever was plugging the ditch. HA! STUPID ROTTEN RODENTS!!!

So /paul, ken and other expert beaver trainers--you are hearby invited to central Illinois to address my beaver problems.

To make matters worse I was totally unsuccessful in accquiring explosives!!! What is wrong with this country?! All I wanted was a few sticks of dy-no-mite. Sheesh. :cool:

I have to hand it to the little furry critters, they are remarkable engineers. I did stop counting ducks and ducklings at 50, really pretty neat.

Still---Stupid beaver has cost two weeks of drying time and now a tract hoe will have to be hauled in to free willy, I mean drain the wetland.

Good thing I look good in fur.
 
E
#66 ·
Ken - Weren't you the one who had a story about blowing up a beaver dam?
 
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#64 ·
I shot my Jeep once....A long time ago. With a .30-06. Don't like to talk about it.

P.S.: Beaver tastes like roast beef. Seriously the rodent not the you "You-know-what" kind.
 
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D
#60 ·
So my summer of 2019 beaver story with names and location withheld to protect those innocent souls

The beavers had a well established den! Trapping had proven to not be effective

The den had expanded and a hole had developed in the road.
Bright ideas commenced :
So 10 gallons of diesel fuel was poured in the hole- not enough fuel so 5 gallons of gas was added . Shortly after the fueling was complete an explosion occurred. The hole in the road that was 12” was now expanded to 3’. As the smoke cleared and the cussing stopped ; one could hear squealing in the hole - pistols came out - hundreds of shots in the hole - ammo ran out and their was less noise in the hole
Suddenly a shout - beaver swimming in the pond / a rifle appeared - shoot the M-F could be heard - the rifle was laid across the hood of the very new truck hub; much hollering to shoot the MF. A shot rang out - the bullet went through the hood and deflected into the battery. The beaver was quickly forgotten but the shouting and hollering got louder. There was a lot of MF’s with stupid being thrown in ; also there was several references to family heritage.
Fortunately all the ammo had been expended and no more casualties resulted
A 2 mile walk back to shop for a tractor ( did I mention 100 degree heat ).
Several days of not speaking to one another and then yards of concrete placed in the hole , a battery was found and the truck has the hole as an accessory

As in some families there are now things not brought up
True 2019 summer story with names and location protected as they ve had time to resupply the ammo
 
#44 ·
alright this just ain't fair!
I wish you all could go back in time to before the great server purge and read the grief I took for such similar whimsical postings.
And then my pubic apology for it all caused me even more abuse then the original post.
To this day complete strangers walk up to me at tests and tell me it was the best thread they ever read, yet I was pummeled by the ladies.
This just ain't fair!
wa! wa wa wa :(:(:(:(
.
 
#37 ·
Oh really???!!! I'll have you know that my beaver is quite blond and not dumb!!!! I have the pictures to prove it!!!
Image



Now for those of you who are interested in shaving your beaver, I highly recommend avoiding this. My poor blond beaver was shaved prior to the delivery of my little darling beaver. IT WAS NOT PRETTY!!!
Image
 
#38 ·
Hmmm, Might have to move south if you shave your Beaver. It is warmer down there.....
 
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E
#36 ·
This has all the ear-marks of the next great episode of "Hey. Watch this..."

Eric
 
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#32 ·
Bart is an expert beaver wrangler. Now....since he won't let me take his chainsaw to the beaver dam, I've conned him into letting me hook toe ropes up through the back side and attaching the ropes to my truck. :) This is gonna be awesome. Probably won't end well, but it will be fun!!
 
#28 ·
Its easy to trap beaver you'll need a nice truck, some gold or other nice jewelry, your own house and the more money the better.but be careful they tend to be able to turn the trap on You. Next thing you know your trapped. Its best to practice catch and release with them things cause if you keep one around to long they turn crazy quick!
 
J
#30 ·
Shawn White said:
Its easy to trap beaver you'll need a nice truck, some gold or other nice jewelry, your own house and the more money the better.but be careful they tend to be able to turn the trap on You. Next thing you know your trapped. Its best to practice catch and release with them things cause if you keep one around to long they turn crazy quick!
Click to expand...
Well you're screwed on that one as the moment they have XX on their sex chromosomes, they're completely insane/illogical/moody/quadpolar/money hungry/& always about me. All that's from as big a ladies man as there is & Southern Gentleman to boot.
 
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